School

school is stressful

I walk to my locker and the first thing I think is

 "oh god, I hope she doesn't notice me today!"

My hands tremble, my breath is uneven,

and getting there early gives me hope.

I walk into the classroom, 

nod a silent good morning to the teacher.
Oh god. I didn't say it, I just nodded.

Is that rude? Should I go back?
No, I couldn't go back now, 

everyone's waiting for you to sit down,

relax, cmon, breathe.

I put my books down and sit beside a pretty girl.

Is everyone comparing us?
Can they see the way my thighs spread as I sit?

I stand for the national anthem,

morning prayers and hope no one notices

my overly-curvey curves,

my long hair that needs to be washed,

I hope when I sit they don't see how big I 

really am.
Wait, since when has first period

started? Crap, crap. My hands shake and

my breaths shorten. Slowly pull out

the math textbook, you can do it, you've been

paying attention!

The boy across the class is looking at you

no hes not

yes he is

he sees what a clumsy kid you are.

You look over.
His head turns away.

i told you

alright, no, just divide some exponents.

You know this, it's simple.
Cmon, you know this, don't ask the teacher!
You're supposed to be a genius like everyone

always said! Your father's daughter.

guess you're not that smart, huh?
No, I get it, but my writing is unorganized,

this is too messy. 
erase it all. redo it.
It's okay, it's just math, relax.

I drop the pencil.

they're all looking at you
No, they're not, be quiet.
you know they are
It's okay, breathe, I can do this.
You look to check the time.
First period is almost over.
You've already got homework.
nice job, einstein.

Author's Note

this is just like vent poetry yeah