Choosing

about my ex, haha...

oh god,
you don't understand.
it's been nearly
one
whole
year,
and still I think of
you.
and your
dorky grin,
silly texts,
heartwarming promises,
and then I smile.
but now,
my eyes are tearing up,
because,
I still think of her seeing the
you
i saw. and her
seeing the
dorky grin,
silly texts,
and you making her
heartwarming promises,
you made to me.
and that ache returns,
because, oh god,
I miss how you made me feel.
like I was...
on top of the world.
like I was
important,
beautiful,
wanted.
and you promised you'd be there
so I always felt like
I was
flying,
soaring,
floating,
but now I'm
empty.
alone.
cold.
and I'm no longer riding out my high
I'm just
falling,
crashing,
drowning.
because she was so much
prettier,
funnier,
nicer,
and I get why you chose her,
but sometimes...
oh god,
sometimes,
I wish
you didn't.