I AM NOT A PENGUIN , I'M A PUFFIN

I am not a Penguin , I'm a Puffin

I have tried rather unsuccessfully in my life to fit in , to be part of the crowd , to share the consensus opinion but alas i can no longer delude myself.

I am not a Penguin , I'm a Puffin

These days I am hanging by a thread to what little sanity I have left. My disappointment and disillusionment with humankind is crippling me. I have tried to be an ambassador of light in a ever darkening world to no avail. I feel some days that I am the only honest person left on the planet , that dignity , integrity and authenticity have been replaced with hatred , ignorance and intolerance and these are things i cannot and will not accept.

I am not a Penguin , I'm a Puffin

Each moment is a gift and everyone that I call friend are feathers from an angel that enable me to soar to heights of higher wisdom. Yet lately my feathers have molted and friends have lost the ability to see past their own egos and insecurities. My intent is and always has been to radiate inner spirit in an attempt to facilitate creative intuitive guidance and create genuine happiness for all. Yet I fear that mine has not been a significant contribution to humankind. I seek not fame nor fortune but only to touch people in a way that contributes positively to their existence.

I am not a Penguin , I'm a Puffin

I have never truly fit in. I am not an Alcoholic or Drug Addict like most of my relatives , I do not have a mainstream job , i live in the suburbs where i am lonely and isolated even though my inclinations lean towards artistic and spiritual endeavors , i wear my emotional scars like a noose which is ever tightening and i carry my sanity in a biodegradable container in hopes that it will soon dissolve and i will be free of the madness. I am not a square peg in a round hole , for i am neither peg nor hole.

I am not a Penguin , I'm a Puffin

I seek a stimulating environment that ignites the soul and fills ones heart with happiness. I know that I am heaped with blessings yet my depression is so severe that it has made it increasingly difficult not only to function but simply to breathe. Please dont look at me as you look at others for I am not like them. I ask not pity but only passion , spirit and integrity. I am a spiritual wanderer and mine is a quest for a reality where I am truly happy. I have waited 49 years for just one day where from the moment I awake to the moment I lay my head back down I am happy. That day is yet to come.

I am not a Penguin , I am a Puffin

So while I wander aimlessly through the arctic regions of my soul in search of a sanity that doesnt seem to exist know that any blessings of peace and love you have go a long way to extending my earthly existence. I am less than human , more than earthly and nothing like who i thought i would be. When I was young I wanted to be somebody but somebody else already was so i decided to be nobody at all.

I am not a Penguin , I'm a Puffin

Lonely stands the Puffin!

Reviews

[Bubo]

I found this so sad...............a quest for so many things, and the title is perfect.
I would be very proud to be a puffin.......stand out from the crowd rather than conform to society.

Each moment is a gift and everyone that I call friend are feathers from an angel that enable me to soar to heights of higher wisdom. Yet lately my feathers have molted and friends have lost the ability to see past their own egos and insecurities. My intent is and always has been to radiate inner spirit in an attempt to facilitate creative intuitive guidance and create genuine happiness for all. Yet I fear that mine has not been a significant contribution to humankind. I seek not fame nor fortune but only to touch people in a way that contributes positively to their existence.

I think as we get older our eyes open to things we have chosen to ignore, or see through wisdom,
if these are your thoughts you are a unique individual who should be proud............your not alone puffin at all.

[Jacqueline J]

Evocative. Introspective and moody. I think you have captured the character beautifully. I do hope that the inspiration for this piece isn't too close to home (or too prevalent in your own mind) as it's quite a dark bit of writing. A very good use of imagery and well written, but very dark.
Thank you for sharing.

[~The Queen~]

This is a very deep piece of writing and one I dare not speak lightly of. It's very dark but it speaks about the problems no a days where people are beginning to feel more and more alone, at least that's my impression of the story. Very well done^^ Keep it up

-QueenofKings

[Dianne]

The depression you speak of comes through in this. In these lines I feel a hint of the source of the discontent.

Yet lately my feathers have molted and friends have lost the ability to see past their own egos and insecurities. My intent is and always has been to radiate inner spirit in an attempt to facilitate creative intuitive guidance and create genuine happiness for all. Yet I fear that mine has not been a significant contribution to humankind. I seek not fame nor fortune but only to touch people in a way that contributes positively to their existence.

You can not make some else, any one else happy. You can only choose to be a happy example. You can guide the willing but you can't make the trip for them. Focus on your own happiness independent of the outside world and you will make your greatest contribution, living by example.

[Stacy]

Nicely done

[[untitled]]

I am not fully sure whether or not this is a well done piece on humanity or if it is autobiographical as most here seem to believe. I am sorry that the depression is so deep and difficult. I have numerous friends who live with terrible depression...it is so very difficult...incapacitating really.

Whomever it is that you are writing about limits themselves when they say the following:

"I am less than human , more than earthly and nothing like who i thought i would be. When I was young I wanted to be somebody but somebody else already was so i decided to be nobody at all."

If one views himself as less than human then humans will never be able to interact acceptably with him. It is a set-up for failure from the start. We are each vastly, giftedly, different, yet all the same, WE ARE ALL ONE. Perhaps the person is attempting to fit into the skin of one who he is not.......and need to learn who it is that he really is and then love that person. For, he is lovable, as we each are.

[[untitled]]

I loved this. It was so deep. I have often felt different from those around me. I love the part where you talk about friends. Sometimes friends just don't understand you. They do lose track of who you are. I really thought this was amazing. Very good writing!

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

I am sorry., I had a really good review, and the computer erased it. So I am writing again, bec I really loved this poem. One of my favorites so far. I love the analogy of the penguin and puffin, and it is very deep. My favorite part is:

So while I wander aimlessly through the arctic regions of my soul in search of a sanity that doesnt seem to exist know that any blessings of peace and love you have go a long way to extending my earthly existence. I am less than human , more than earthly and nothing like who i thought i would be. When I was young I wanted to be somebody but somebody else already was so i decided to be nobody at all.

"wander aimlessly thruogh the arctic regioins of my soul in search of sanity that doesn't seem to exist..." wow!! that is amazing. i loved the whole poem!!! ten ten ten

[THERISA]

Reading your very poetic prose poem, tears started to form in my eyes. As, i feel like you're talking about my life and the struggle to accept myself. Given that society, views the Trans community as aliens in a forgein land. Never truly fitting in. Always on the outside looking in. How i wish that you didn't have to experience similar feelings as i do. Even though, i am several years younger than you. Thank you for reminding me, that i am not alone in my struggle and neither are you. May you find that inner peace and harmony that you have been so long, searching for.

Therisa