Hello good sir.

Hello good sir bug.
You're not supposed to be there.
I'll ask you to leave.

Please vacate the shirt I am wearing with as little of your legs touching my skin as possible.
*crunch*
Sorry good sir bug. Too much legs. Gross but a respectful end to your reign of bugginess.

Author's Note

Bored as I wrote this. Not a real monologue but that bug DID have it coming.