Life Stings

Thank you to Gypsy Spirit Wind for the permission to use their image; find them on Facebook for more incredible images. "Pain Never Makes Me Cry But Happiness Does"

Life Stings

 

Pain and agony are trusted friends,

They comfort in a cold embrace

Hope stings the wounded soul, burning

In a heart where hope’s erased

 

Puppy breath and scratchy kitten tongues

Are the only light and warmth known

For the heart of darkness lives here

It will dare not hope for love

 

Hope dashed is the greatest pain of all

I told you not to extend it

Hopes are only made for crushing

Only darkness can live here

 

Fractured psyche screams the message loud

You know what happens when you trust

Rip out what is left of your heart

We protected it so well

 

You had hoped he was not really dead

Hoping your father loved you too

Remember hoping for love?

How many times must you learn?

 

Hope kills the fractured psyche inside

It rips you to little pieces

Molten lava to your spirit

Don’t you dare do it again!

Author's Note

Please forgive the darkness which lives inside of me; I could hold it in no longer!

Reviews

[Trigorin]

You have a good concept, but some of your language is a little cliche - the ending, especially, is particularly expected, and there's really nothing here to make this stand out against the gobs and gobs of similar poetry. If you don't mind that, then good on you, but if you do, I'd suggest integrating some sort of hook, something unique about this that'll keep the reader engaged and interested.

[Veronica Chandler]

I appreciate the constructive criticism more than words can describe. The last review you gave resulted in some modifications to the piece. Although I must say this poem is not a concept, but a piece of my agonized, fractured self spilled out on to page, in the best manner my uneducated self can muster. I do wish for my work to stand out and am learning as fast as I can; it is with reviews such as this that the learning increases and my pieces will hopefully improve over time in the eyes of the readers. Most important to me for now, is to stand bravely and put my work out here for world to judge these real pieces of my innermost self. I have experienced things in my life that would have most men crying like babies and putting my writing out in a public forum is the single bravest act I have ever done. In all sincerity...I thank you again for the thought provoking review.

[Tate Morgan]

Very nice I like the music

[Veronica Chandler]

Thank you for the review of my work...This was a good cathartic write; like spring cleaning.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

hopes are only made for crushing.......such a wonderful poem.

[Veronica Chandler]

Thank you so much for the review.

[Emily Feret]

wow, what a devastating tale of hope lost. Deep. Emotional. Thank you for sharing

[Veronica Chandler]

Thank you so much for the review.

[Prince Kenny Jr]

As usual, this is also a very much great piece.. kudos

[KeelyJane]

Since this is my first review of your work I will try my best to make it a good one but I am not the best at being very helpful in terms of critique. I'm only good at giving my opinion which is merely just that. I thought this poem was beautiful in its own darkness. I have always said that hope is nothing more than a distant disappointment. As is faith. Wishful thinking is just that. A wish. When we want something so bad we put it in a box called hope and when we open that box that's all that is in it because that's all we ever put it in. Perhaps hoping isn't the answer. Maybe we should put something more into that box. But what? That question I will answer when I figure it out myself. I enjoyed this poem of yours very much because you touched on a familiar struggle. Thank you for sharing.

[Veronica Chandler]

Thank you so much, it is always a comfort to feel validation, and to understand I am not alone in my my struggles. I appreciate the review.

[shallimarRose]

I found this heart wrenching to read.. and feel it came from deep in your soul.. Its sad when the only love you expect comes from your furry friends.. My father lived and died an alcoholic and there were so many hurts along the way and he died when i was 15 so no do-overs.. Im sitting here crying and thats a sign of something great whether or not it feels a bit cliche to some....
I think it is heartfelt and well written and I thank you ... shallimarRose

[Veronica Chandler]

With an alcoholic father I can imagine you know this feeling equally as well as I; in all sincerity I know the darkness does serve it's purpose and is under my microscope right now. I am on a mission to discover what exactly what we can glean from it's terrible and potent sting. We must cleanse and rinse our souls of it or, to steal an idea from Poetic Beauty it will tattoo us, marking us permanently. If I am going to have a tattoo, I want the thing to be utterly freaking beautiful! "Leap" is one of my other pieces, and a line there comes to mind right now, "Darkness you are this part inside, Staining tomorrows, No I won’t hide. I can't thank you enough for the kind and sensitive review.

[Frieda P]

Holy fook, are you in my head? This is exactly a fractured psyche, the wants, the needs but never letting youself go back to that vulnerable place again. There's always that inner voice warning, danger, danger. You smacked me upside the head with this one....

[Veronica Chandler]

I do believe that is one of the highest compliments I have ever received; I cannot thank you enough. I recognize the heart of darkness and am trying as best I can to embrace it. Without the darkness for contrast how could I recognize the light, so I did give darkness a voice. The poem smacked me upside the head too...

[Frieda P]

Certain reads just resonate in our bones, this was one of them, my pleaure.

[Jack...]

It is so difficult to reach inside, inside of the dark and bring to light what consumes you. To place it out in plain sight for all to see, to digest, to make a bold attemmpt to understand, though do they ever really know. Your words are exact and hit hard. To hold out hope, hope for what may come is a gamble in itself. To feel the shame of hopelessness is the losing hand. Though I believe we should all keep a small area of hope opened, because the world changes, scenery corrects itself and we just never know who might fall in through that opening.

Veronica, you have flooded my mind with visions and deep sorrow, my heart beats bit slower after reading this. I find though, even within this dark theme, immense beauty and softness. Perhaps that is my hope.

[Veronica Chandler]

Thank you ever so much for the review; I experienced some unthinkable things in my youth and spent a lot of time pretending the dark was not there; when at last I realized I needed the dark for contrast to fully appreciate and embrace the light everything shifted. This is my attempt to give voice to the darkness so that it does not overtake my beautiful crisp lightness. Thank you for you intuitive, insightful review.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is so deep and well said...straightforward in a way....but the wording isn't something we have to trip over....you have really good personification in this...

the only comfort is the cold embrace of pain and agony...wow

and don't embrace hope..because it will let you down.

i felt this honest piece very much.

[Veronica Chandler]

My spirit does dare hope now, and light does shine in the center of my darkness. This piece was born when I ran into a relative who I have never met and her and I both have struggled with this very topic for most our lives. She is doing her Thesis on a topic very near the origins of the piece. It is so hard for the severely fractured spirit to feel heard and to hope for the sweet release from the only comfort we had ever known...Darkness, but alas her and I are awakening from the dark night of the soul. You have no I idea how timely these reviews are to my heart. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.