What It Means To Sink

water fills everything

Water seeps into everything.

I practice origami,

Folding myself smaller and smaller,

but I’m surrounded.

The thought of oxygen rips my chest open

and salt makes eyes useless.

sweaty palms and cruel fingers push me down.

I used to resist, but

with every panic filled movement

I sink further.

each wound from uncut nails

paints my cage red.

I have to stop the water,

To find the sun, and

evaporate my grave.

Reviews

[Autumn Rain]

This poem paints a wonderful and emotional picture of drowning. Very good!

[solsystemtillnervsystem]

This is amazing. I was holding my breath when I read it--it's the sort of poem that drags the reader in with the narrator. Absolutely brilliant.

[Scorpion Flametail]

This a really interesting poem. I like that it reflects the theme with every line and the metaphor of drowning really fit with the message. The way you say "evaporate my grave" is fitting, and the imagery in this is wonderful. It's been a long time since I've read one that spoke to me like this one did. I like the lines "I practice origami, folding myself smaller and smaller but I'm surrounded". That was great wording for what I think you were trying to say. Overall, I think this is one of my favorite poems and I'd put it right up there with "The Jabberwocky". Though they are polar opposites they are both wonderful, and I could read them over and over until I've memorized them by heart.

[H L Rose]

I think this is really good. “I practice origami, folding myself smaller and smaller” was my favorite line. The wording throughout the whole poem reflects the theme of sinking, and “evaporate my grave” was a really interesting twist.
Glad to have read this!

[D Alan Johnstone]

If you are anything like me, writing is the most direct path to grave evaporation.
I really enjoy your work.

[ohsograceful]

Writing is definitely something I do for me, it's very cathartic. And thanks, it's always nice to find someone who gets it

[Gee]

One of the hardest parts of life is finding a version of ourselves that WE can love and then finding a happy place to live in with folk that love us warts and all. After that it is plain sailing all the way, well, it's easier.
Enjoyed your writing OSG

[Asante]

Oh, wow! This was amazing. The first few lines in felt like a swift punch to the gut, and overall, I relate to these feelings personally. Thanks for sharing this!

[Nicholas Shea]

Wow! I love the last few lines... brilliant work!

[ohsograceful]

Thank you, it's one of my favorites :)

[Justin]

that was really great :) very powerful :) great job :)

[Chewing Wildflowers]

powerful imagery in this piece