Narcotics Anonymous

rip austin

Hello, my name is makayla and I am 17

and i am an addict

hear me out before you judge

according to the dictionary

the definition of a drug 

is a substance that alters your behavior

and way of thinking

and this summer

i met a boy

who i swear to god is

heroin in human form

olive skin smoother than the finest wine

every kiss numbed me more

than the purest cocaine

his hand on my thigh

electrified my skin

no MDMA needed

one night is all it took

one night in his arms

and i was hooked

his touch warmed me more

than any bottle of tequila could

and i'll be honest

i've kissed more bottles than boys

because vodka easier to swallow than rejection

but with him i wasn't scared

you don't fear falling when you know you can fly

and every second with him increased my high

i never knew what ecstasy felt like

till i met him

when you're in school they tell you

that drugs will kill you

and i was prepared to give my all to him

and let him swallow me whole

chasing me with valium and whiskey

he was the one who was supposed to be toxic

eating me from the inside out

he was something too big to be destroyed

i thought he was invincible

but i was wrong

i guess that's what threw me off the most

when he ended up being the one to be gone

now i am forever chasing a high

i know i can never feel again

i became dependent on his voice

to soothe me to bliss

i knew he was temporary

but it wasn't supposed to end like this

he was a wildfire

engulfing those around him

destroying yet purifying at the same time

terrifyingly beautiful

and put out too soon

i don't know what i am supposed to do

i'm addicted to something

i will never have again

they don't make them like him anymore

nothing else can compare

my old vices aren't enough

when you've had gourmet

how can you go back to grub

human aren't homes

but i rented a place his chest

filled every crack with my cravings

at least i tried my best

there's no rehab to treat me

and this is the worst withdrawal ever

i just can't f*****g believe

that he's gone forever