Nebula

Thornbird, dark stars

 

I hear Her
cries
in the night
Her sighs
to the day
as wolfs howl
innocent pains
Children
of the mountain
mist
among the rain
deepened
creeping in
of the quiet
throws
and
blankets
to
our countryside
We sprawl
out
sifting
Our share
in time
stars
they keep
falling
as we
sweep up
dust
putting
to palms
the two of us
within the dark
we strike a match
and to that light
both are half
holding the other
steadfast
Intact
make no mistake
A Thornbird
on a wave
dives
into the sun
mirrored
in set
of everyone

Author's Note

Latin title

Reviews

[Petra Vlah]

Simply splendid! There is a lot of clarity (both thought and sensibility) in this nebula; everything flows perfectly and the rhythm of the poem is incredibly suggestive of falling stars and meteors "diving into the sun"
"stars
they keep
falling
as we
sweep up
dust
putting
to palms
the two of us
within the dark
we strike a match
and to that light
both are half
holding the other
steadfast
Intact"

[Souladareatease]

I thank You so much for Your kind words Petra-thank You for reading me!!!

[quinfinn]

i am shocked to find so few reviews on this excellent piece. you write such intricately painted scenes with your quill, and always so relevant and resonant. this one goes to my library. well done, my friend!

[Souladareatease]

Kind is the Pen O Quin-ever humbled My Friend-thank You!!!

[Androglossia]

Everything reflects the lives of everyone else. For me, this is basically a blue print of life under the sun and how it unfolds; of struggles & determination, sorrow & strength, loyalty & love, of chances & taking risks. All of these in white lines on a blue ground witnessed by a voiceless audience overhead. If only clouds could talk. This is a wonderful write, almost musical with its remarkable staccato rythm.

[Souladareatease]

Insightful and Perfect--I thank You for these kind words-And indeed that was the speed within me-Grateful Maryanne!!!

[Shaun Payton]

The form works perfectly. The writing is layered with depths of metaphor. Its a poetic gem Soul:)

[Souladareatease]

Thank You Shaun- this form has been addicting to me lately, so I am going to force myself some distance to it...at least for a write or two lol-Thank You My Friend!!!

[Shaun Payton]

Lol Well ive always done "odd" different forms, its all good:) its good to be crafty and some times change up for a bit. You write well Soul.

[Souladareatease]

Indeed I too enjoy the oddly formed lol...there are a few sprinkled here...but unfortunate...I cannot remember which...instance creeping is a fall off poem...ive done a few of those...and let us be as is a shaped one...I tend to try a new style for a couple writes then slink back to my couple favorite styles...I like Acrostics a lot...but tend to only use these as literation stimulants...I thank You Sir for Your compliments ...Your writes too are quite Beautiful craft!!!

[Shaun Payton]

Ive never done a falling word one. I think John Updike wrote a poem where he went around the page and built the poem within the margins. Im not too keen on the proper terms of which form is which..I know acrostic though! I just know what I like and love. You know that Sami Khalil?

[Souladareatease]

Indeed I am the same way...I know a couple terms/forms but all proper forms I do not...same as You...read and write what I like...if I write in a form it is rare and mostly luck except Haiku and acrostic...I did a couple that were mirrored writes--forget the term lol Indeed Sami is a fine friend and Poet...he writes Beautifully ...a very Busy man here ...he is a working Poet within this site and a kind Heart.

[Shaun Payton]

I can never get haiku, perhaps im stubborn lol Oh mirrored writes are coooool!!
Soul, Sami, is one of the finest poets ive ever read. I cant state it any other way. Ive seen three or four thus far where if i did not write id come here just to read, Sami, Girl Friday, DCT, and you. So worth the time, so worth the joy it gives me to read..you all share a gift that enlightens and teaches.

[Souladareatease]

Indeed these are Fine writers You mention-count Yourself among them My friend-You carry Heart and wisdom as well!!! we are all students till we can write no more of life!!!

[Souladareatease]

Oh...try Haiku again...I am SURE You can...look at the basics of it's definition and go from there...or say f**k the rules and make it something of Your own creation!!!

[Shaun Payton]

Im one who usually says f**k rules lol but im not one to shy away from trying. "We are all students till we can write no more of life!!!" Very good statement.

[Sami Khalil]

"stars
they keep
falling
as we
sweep up
dust
putting
to palms
the two of us
within the dark
we strike a match
and to that light
both are half
holding the other "
A sublime write with nice metaphors. Well penned as always kind poet...:)

[Souladareatease]

I thank You Deeply Kind Sami!!!

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...:)