Points of Light

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My eyes took to the rays images
as my bound hand, wiped
dust from corners, pillaging
within the complex site
I heard in my ear, Dawn
saying She wasn't very good
I scoffed, innocent songs
hearing these many times
before, holding the phone

With trembling hands
lines etch from face to page
as to how it happened
upon this way, a reckoning
why gold drips, innocence lain
the days leap, emblazon
the gaze, as You stare
into this day, pure
as cloudless sky

laying the phone down
there I was walking
around and around
never leaving, my station
sun melded with evening
I took deep breaths, hoping
this explosion in the distance
was heard with precision

exactly where my mind blew

Reviews

[Jack...]

My friend, you have taken me around the block with this piece. I feel out of breath and scorched by the sun, yet in a refreshing way. You leave this open for our interpretation and the mind still dances in the circular patterns as your words weave their magic. Very nice.

[Souladareatease]

So kind Jack-I am humbled0 thank You greatly!!!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

This is a metaphorically cryptic piece. I like the choice you made in capitalizing Dawn and You, because we are left wondering if you are personifying or if there actually is a person named "Dawn" you are speaking with during this beautiful and slightly mournful morning. You excite me with your words...very well done!

[Souladareatease]

Thank You Friday :) I am glad it had that effect,,,I so love the cryptic...funny You mention those caps...a few stuff-shirt judges had to have that explained to them in some past writes...not saying I don't make mistakes...for I sure as hell do...but...some things are placed in certain ways...for symbolism...as You kindly point out, instead of "reading" me...these people base upon aesthetic view...there whole life as "writers" becoming elitists...Thank You for reading me:)

[Sami Khalil]

"I took deep breaths, hoping
this explosion in the distance
was heard with precision

exactly where my mind blew "
Light shines on us and some make use of it and some hide from it for it depends what points of truth we all want to connect too. Our mind always exploding with information but we have to sort out the best from the worst. That is what I get from this write but I could be wrong ...A very good write...:)

[Souladareatease]

Indeed Sami:) that is ONE way definitely intended, Now think of "rays images"
as day dreaming of a Woman :) Always appreciate Your depth Sami!!!

[Sami Khalil]

I will ...You are welcome...:)

[The dark story]

Gosh!! this is thought provoking and mind blowing,stunning!! you know whenever i read your work ,i always get inspired by your idiosyncrasy and the way you pen them...simply amazing!

[Souladareatease]

Such kind words...i am humbled
too kind!!!

[quinfinn]

images of sunlight and of you walking round and round in frustration....Dawn...morning, or madness? all interpretative i suppose...but i get that picture of innuendos and nuances and a man who has much too much out of oh, so little. thought provoking and yes, explosive.

[Souladareatease]

morning:) and rays of sunshine to my life..:) indeed the innuendos...always a slight cryptic...I cant speak outright and show any flair lol unless cursing