Inconspicious

Inconspicious-

This is my pitch, b***h.

Jonah Hill plays Erin as a guy in a crappy day job who is looking for a little adventure in all the wrong places. Will Farrell is Kirk, an assassin who is internationally employed by the world most powerful men and women to do dirty work. Vin Diesel is Agent Smith and Steve Buscami plays Agent Smithers who are partners who try to solve the case of Hit the number one assassin. Steve Buscami is working for Kirk who is the infamous Hit as Erin follows him into the underground world of murder for hire.

This is the story-

BookWurm: Hey.

No.1_Killah: Hey.

BookWurm: I want to meet you, I know that this is a bit sudden but, I want to know more, I want to learn so much more. I know you think it’s weird but I am ready.

No.1_Killah: I am reluctant to meet you, what if you’re the fuzz.

BookWurm: F**k the police, haven’t you gotten to know me? I thought we were closer then that. Please, do you want pictures? I’ll send them to you if you need proof but I will need some in return. But if you want this to be a little more anonymous... trust has to work both ways:)

No.1_Killah: Okay, I know a place I can meet you, it’s on Queen’s and 2^nd. How will I know it’s you BookWurm?

BookWurm: Don’t worry, I’ll know it’s you. You better not be dicking me around. I really need this. No bs, I maybe young but I know how to hold a gun... ;)

No.1_Killah: :) Good. But know that if I suspect you of a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. You will be punished.

BookWurm: What time do we meet?

No.1_Killah: Seven. Sharp.

BookWurm: Okay. Bye, til then.

No.1_Killah: Until then.

That was the a on-line conversation between me and a someone you will come to know as Kirk. Let me get you up to speed, my name is Erin, I am 22, I work at a job that blow’s. I live with my mom n’ pop’s, just until I have enough to get a place of my own. And did I tell you? My life sucks. Now, I work for a on-line news paper, I’m a reporter for "World News International Tribune." Not the best name for something trying to be taken seriously but they pay good. Anyway, during the day I am Eric, the guy who stock’s your local Wal-Mart shelves at the one of few 24Hour locations across the country. By night I am BookWurm on the account of me having to do so much research on various topics I write about. I have no specialty but I like to write about politics, homicide, and international arms/drugs/prostitution/gang related topics, just because there is nothing they can do to shut me up. Recently I have been doing reports about hit men and assassins. I did digging and I found a source who was local who was willing to talk about the underground world of professional killing. It paid well, you get to travel and all you have to do is take the life of someone you don’t know. Over a month or so he told me more and, I was intrigued unlike I had even been before. It was remarkable how much he knew so finally I asked him. Are you a professional? He didn’t answer but I realised that his name was No.1_Killah so I drew my own conclusion and continued to press the matter. Finally he spilled saying, yes he was and that if I told anyone he would hunt me down unrelentlessly until everyone I loved and knew was dead and that I would be the last. I wasn’t to worried considering I don’t like my family, AT ALL. I welcomed his threat but said we were friends and that I wasn’t about to rat him out. When I was ten my dad showed me how to use a gun. By the time I was sixteen I had shot holes into almost any inanimate object you can think of. Thus bringing me to today.

As I got out of my parents blue Honda and walked into the lobby of a hotel, it dawned on me how deep I had stepped in it as I walked into the restaurant area. I saw a man on my a black coat and slicked back clack hair chewing on a tooth pick reading the newspaper was sitting in a booth alone. I though, it had to be him. Now in an earlier conversation he said that he had always used code on first meeting’s. I walked up to the table nonchalant-like and, from memory said casually.

"Echo." pretty proud of myself I waited for a response, he sat there continuing to read his paper. "Echo" I said again, this time louder, demanding his attention. Now I remind you that I assumed this man was the man I was looking for.

Looking around the room he cocked his head "What?"

"Echo" I said smiling and nodding my head "Sssup?"

"What the hell are you talking about? What echo?"

I was so upset that he was playing me like that, I started to get impatient. "Look, I said no dicking around" I leaned in closer, grinning I said to him "I said I know how to handle a gun." Not realising the boundary I had just overstepped I nodded in comprehension. This angered the man further to have an outburst about me accusing him of being a homosexual, calling me one, it was just a disaster. Just when I was about to get my a*s handed to me this man in a funny-faded denim jacket and khaki pants intervened.

"What the hell do you want buddy!?" The man hollered at the stranger

"Look friend your causing a scene here, why don’ you just back off, buddy."

"WHAT!? He’s hitting on me!" he yelled

"What!? No!, I mean no!, it’s all a misunderstanding! I wasn’t hitting on you, I thought..." I was at a loss for words. With a gaze that sends a shiver up my spine to this day he talked the man into leaving the diner without another word. I was so relieved, as you could imagine.

"Thank you! Oh man! Wow, I thought we was..."

"Echo, cho, oh, o." The man in the denim jacket said to me. I was in utter disbelief, this was that assassin. I told him to his face but he had a valid argument, me. I was just as odd to be wanting to be a killer as he was doing it. After I worked through my disappointment we got to talking. That was my first time with on of the worlds most notorious for-hire murderers. He told me of his heroic stories of travelling the world and killing the husbands of jealous wives, the not so democratic democrats of third world countries and assorted drug lords and corrupt politicians.

The next week of work was unbearable, I could not get him out of my mind! He was every thought I had, I wanted to do it and he said that I wasn’t cut out for the job. That following weekend I demanded him to show me the ropes or I turn him in. In a bluff I said I had recorded his voice and all our messages [which I hadn’t, but he didn’t know that.] and that if I ended up dead a distant acquaintance was to take that information to the FBI. He told me to pack my bags and to get my passport ready, so I did. We met and he took my passport, the next meeting we had he gave me six new fake passports. I had done a article on counterfeit passports and these were the best I had ever come across. It was flawless, but he said that I was to remember them all. I did, so for my first ever trip I was, Michael Moore. We were on our was to the middle east, he showed my pictures of the target and showed me a couple of things. Like how I had mistaken the man at the coffee shop for him because he looked like the type to live the life on an international super assassin. He told me that he was wanted but no one knew what he looked like, just that he was the best. He told me that he had a man working on the inside, Agent Smithers. One of the heads leading the operation to take him down. He was the foot that was made to walk in the wrong direction. Agent Smithers partner, Agent Smith [I know right.] was someone who hated Kirk. Again Kirk is what I call him because in an abstract way looks like Captain Kirk from Star Trek. Anyway, he never told me his real name, for obvious reasons. We landed, we checked in at our hotel and we shadowed the target. We gathered his itinerary and the plan was this, take him down with a rocket launcher while he’s in his imported Phantom, to send a message. It went down that way. Kirk taught me that if I was to work in the business that I had to know my opponent, who ever they should be. And to know my employer, to know the benefits, the prices and the perks. Private jets, cars, included accommodations etc. When I got home my mother was worried I had been killed due to my lack of communication, she tried grounding me. So for the next month I was stuck at home with no TV, phone or car privileges.

After that time Kirk decided to let me do the honours! I was ecstatic, he told me that this was different and if I succeeded I would get half of the money. This time it was in Tokyo, a greedy businessmen who’s associates didn’t appreciate his lack of respect towards what they were trying to accomplish and wanted him out of the picture. After a call from his inside source Kirk and Erin are tipped off that they are being followed by Agent Smith who was assembled a team to capture "Hit" as he is aptly titled by the FBI.

If you want to hear more, why not let me know- e-mail me [email protected] to tell me of any errors I may have made or just speak your mind about anything you want. Thank you for taking time for reading this or any other of my work.

This is an idea for a movie, it is my sole intellectual property and is copy written by me. © 11/07/08 O.D.M.K - Kenneth C. Burns, All Rights Reserved no part of this story maybe reproduced or transmitted by any means without written permission of author.