day 1

A Poem by oceansun

How do I forget the first heartbeat I ever fell asleep to? How do I erase that from my heart? You showed me what it was like to feel the warmth of another soul lying next to you throughout the night. You showed me the pain that's felt when you realize you were lied to and wasted your time for a year.

You looked me in the eyes and said I was the only one. I believed you. Foolishy, I believed you. I needed to. Don't you see, I needed to put my faith in someone. I knew I shouldn't have put my heart in your hands, I knew from the beginning that you would break it. The prophecy came true. Now I'm paying for my foolishness.

I'd like to say that it was perfect but I know that's a lie. In fact, the opposite is true. It was a s**t show from the beginning. It was fucked up in every way possible. I felt glimmers of happiness, but those were short lived and false. I stayed for a long time knowing what you were doing behind my back. I don't know why. "Why did you still stay if you knew," you asked me. I don't know why.

You gave to other women what I needed the most. While I was craving your attention you gave most of it away somewhere else and threw me the scraps that were left. Like a loyal dog I devoured those scraps and begged for more. A stray dog knows nothing else and scraps provide some nourishment.