The Breastplate

I never asked to be awake at 2 am during finals week with fluidity. Really, I didn't.

There is a breastplate in a tunnel

Dark, and musty,

And for a thousand years,

unseen.

But the breastplate sits,

And it waits,

Humbly,

For its master.

It waits for its master

Who once wore it

Tight over his heart,

Molded to his chest,

And every odd day,

For a few odd minutes,

The breastplate

And its master

Were one.

The breastplate bears the insignia

Of the man it once protected.

It feels the weight of that emblem over its heart

Like the tons of soot that have collected in the tunnel

Since the last time it was thrown in the dirt-

Wine sloshing, meat smacking, men laughing.

The insigned armor

Has been alone for a thousand years,

Will be alone for a thousand more,

Waiting.

Waiting to be worn 

Over the sculpted chest of the man

It was made for.

Loyally waiting.

Waiting loyally.

After all this time

The good people remember the name of the man it protected,

Yet no one seems to correctly recall

The insignia

On the real martyr of the pair.

Author's Note

If you have any questions about this poem, please see the comments between "The Honest Guy" and myself. Hopefully it'll clear up whatever you're confused about, but if not, feel free to ask!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the poem. You made me desire more history and tale of this armor. I like the mystery of ancient times. Allow us to remember old faces, places and struggles. The good description allowed the reader to understand the value of the shield. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Emma Keynes]

I really like this poem. It's so...dreamy and nostalgic, in a way. I think of Narnia when I read this poem :)

I especially like "After all this time, the good people remember the name of the man it protected, yet no one seems to correctly recall the insignia on the real martyr of the pair."

I think that's a great ending and a solemn nod to a lot of things people choose to remember and which ones we choose to forget.

[Oceana]

Thank you very much!

[ChemicalMadness]

Again, a very intriguing concept...I know the focus is on the armor left behind, but it would be nice to have a snapshot of the bearer.

From a "maintenance" perspective, I'd encourage you to evaluate your use of "and" at various points, some of them seem not quite necessary - though stylistically, if you feel like they belong, that's totally up to you, of course.

I always enjoy reading your work!
CM.

[Oceana]

First off, thank you very much for your suggestion on the "and" usage-without being belligerently critical. I really appreciate when other writers also maintain that art, for a large part, is for the creator of the art itself. Whether or not something is "good" is totally subjective. This is probably why, despite I the fact that I respond to yelling in every other aspect of my life, I require rather gentle criticism in my writing.

I'll definitely take that under consideration. Now that it's been pointed out to me, I realize just how often I used it. It's a conversational habit for me, which is probably why I used it so much without even realizing it.

Thank you!

[ChemicalMadness]

I try to gently offer suggestions....it is damn near impossible to convince someone their baby is ugly, so I don't know why people so often try. You are absolutely right, these creations are our own and it is difficult to accept feedback sometimes, especially if the person giving the feedback doesn't seem to "get" what you're putting out there.

Anyhow, I look forward to more from you!
CM

[T]

The repetition of the word master in the beginning of the third verse seems out of place.
'It waits for the one who once wore it' would eliminate the need to say 'waits or master' twice.
A tunnel? A cave or tomb seems more likely to hold such secrets for such a long time. Where are the bones of its master? Why would he leave it there?

And it feels the weight
Of the emblem
Over its heart
(This is an odd statement for a piece of protective metal.)

Yet no one seems to correctly recall
The insignia
On the real martyr of the pair.
On the real martyr of the pair? That also seems slightly odd. I'd be interested to know what you mean by that?

Overall I know where you're going with this so don't take anything I've pointed out personally. There's a real historical feel to this poem that is almost creepy and yet sad. You express the bond between the shield and its owner in a way that touches the heart.

[Oceana]

I'm glad you pointed this out, I didn't know how muddled other people would read it considering how clear it was is in my head. When I began writing this I pictured the setting as the underground tunnels of the Colosseum, and the breastplate protecting a highly successful gladiator. I really wanted to do the best I could to signify the bond between master and protector. How the piece of armor, made and marked for the gladiator, really felt that connection. I wanted the power of the bond of servitude to really be felt. Clearly, this means the shield had to be personified, giving it a heart (placed under the emblem of its owner). As for the martyrdom of the breastplate, as the armor was the central focus of this piece, not the fighter, I wanted to emphasize the importance of it. It gladly went through hell for its master and "felt" nothing but love for it. Had it not been for the breastplate, there would have been no fighter. This is where I found irony- everyone remembered the fighter, but no one remembered the armor, left to decay, or the bond between the two.

[Oceana]

Additionally, the armor was discarded when the gladiator had died during the games. This is why it has been abandoned and the remains of the fighter were not found with it.

[T]

Wow, your explanation really cleared that up. I never made the connection between a tunnel (which could be any tunnel) and the Collosseum. Hm, perhaps if you had a picture of the colosseum it might have been clearer to me. Just a thought. Thanks for getting back to me. Your interpretation is very interesting.

[Oceana]

That's a great idea actually, thank you!

[T]

You're welcome.

[Foxemerald]

The emotional attachment to the breastplate is such that I am caught in a sort of feeling for it, that seems a part of another human being . . . although obviously it isn't. The colors and the natural fluidity with which you wrote about the breastplate makes it seem very realistic, though, and very human. There was a really interesting type of repart in this poem between the plate and it's former master, its friend . . . really nice job!!