The Commander-in-Chief aka ‘Le Translateur’

The boss of the school

Le Translateur made history when Decree No. 2009/431 of 31 December 2009 appointed him pilot of the ASTI ship. Prior to his appointment, Le Translateur had accumulated so many managerial red feathers to his hat. Research Methodology and Revision were the only courses he taught and he subdued them. Age-wise, he was either in his mid-late 50s or very early 60s, I guess so. In terms of physique, Le Translateur as he was dubbed, was short in altitude, dark-skinned, bulky, fresh,  had a bald chin, and had a rare hair do. He had large fingers; each time he grabbed a student’s ear, the ear turned white because blood stopped flowing to the ear. He always dressed very simply to class and had his traditional all-brown outfit, punctuated with his always visible singlet, and no-lace shoes. I guess it was more time un-consuming for him to wear. He hated tuxedos and only wore one during his inauguration as Director and during the presentation of New Year Wishes to the VC. He also wore a pair of glasses just for reading purposes.

                He was well-schooled in Translation studies (2 PhDs, 1 M.A., 1 D.E.A); Canada, France and South Africa are still tapping him to come and refund the education he acquired while there by working for them. His patriotism is unlimited and this is displayed by the wave of the hand he shows to those other Translation-training power-houses. His publications are also uncountable; META can attest to that.  He is internationally acclaimed. His class was always packed to the rafters because he lectured for not more than 30 minutes and dished out tonnes of handouts. One of such handouts bore the title “Les Translateurs”. Just like his student (Mr Skopos) he was an aficionado of theories, but unlike Mr Skopos, he loved Peter Newmark with excitement. Each time he came to class, he asked if we had read Peter Newmark. He should probably have attended studies with Newmark. He loved people who sat on the first benches, reason he appointed his class delegates, Mrs Grass and Mrs Fool, who always sat on the first bench. My term of office as ASA President was under him, and he always lauded the efforts of my regime. He never uttered a sentence without the use of the expression ‘na’ and ‘baby’. He uttered them more than 3 million times when I was in ASTI. “Baby you know you have to read na!”, “Tell Ranndy to solve your problem na”, “I am going to class na”, “If you fail, I will put a fail mark na”, are some of  the sentences he uttered.

                The most unforgettable moment we had with Le Translateur was ASA’s welcome party at Chez Ma Kate. When he was called to dance, Mrs Fool kidnapped him to the embitterment of many ‘Asticottes’ who had been scheming something. You needed to see his dancing skills on the dance floor. The song playing was ‘Ei no easy’ by P. Square. Each time Mrs Fool came closer he shifted backwards, as if to say, “Mrs Fool, don’t come closer.” He danced to the beat of the Nigerian hit, and all the students formed a circle and he was at the centre. In the meantime, Mrs Fool suffered a dancing coup, plotted by a thin-waisted, dark, antelope-eyed and mermaid-like lulu, tagged Lady Gaga. She had tennis-balled milk bags, and a limited derrière. She painted her eye-lids, lips, finger and toe nails with the same colour as my boss’ socks. Her dental cavity was impeccable and she plaited a unique hair-style. She rocked my boss and gave him memories of yesteryears. Fortunately for him, he did not return home with a dance-threatening waist injury like I did because I danced with acutely short girls. On Monday, I received a congratulatory letter from my boss, lauding my extra-translational skills. And this party also led my boss to grant ASA authorization to go on a study trip to Limbe. But I left ASTI embittered, my boss never allowed me organize the celebration of ASTI’s 25 years. This made my report card as ASA President to have red dots. And an event that passed unnoticed because of the greed on the part of APTIC and ASTI administration’s lack of commitment. All in all, my boss was and remains a great man. I yearn to emulate his positive moves, but in my own way.

Cheers