The Terminologist

Chapter on the Deputy Director of the school who lectured Terminology.

Thursday, the sun is out of bed, the class is full of activity, hearsay on the front benches, people trying to know each other, born agains preaching the word of God, etc. etc. Out of the blue, a student who is dark in complexion, extra huge (minute legs and extra large up) yells, “He is coming!” She was called Big Black Mama 1ère (there are two or her kind). She was repeating TRA 619 (Terminology I) course. She is one of those girls you will always find relaxing on the last benches, hiding behind students when she is picked by a lecturer to answer a question or sleeping with her mouth wide-open while the class is going on, and some flies dancing around the mouth, ready to vaccinate her with cholera. She came to class as if she was playing PMUC, and it succeeded because she always surfaced during key classes. She forever puts on fabrics (RAPA’s) and you could by no means see all her contours. I never saw her wear a trouser, nor a skirt above her knee, probably she had issues to hide. She had a pair of odd glasses, even Dr Mrs Njeuma had thrown her own pair in the trash can, after her appointment at ELECAM, but Big Black Mama 1ère still had hers. They were almost like Shisha’s (Part I), slim, thick and what lacked was a cable to hold it firm like that of late Pr. Anoma Ngu. I remember she broke her glasses some day and used sellotape to clutch it firm. She had obese jaws, I am damn sure she ate too much and 99% of her diet was cholesterol-packed. She had a pretty smile and never got heated easily. She did not know how to laugh; she laughed in class like a Mini Ferme (a street in Yaounde where men pay prostitutes CFAF 1000 for s**) girl.

Back to business, “There he comes”, a legal scholar exclaims (for Part XII). I spot this lecturer at Amphitheatre 150 E, walking fearlessly like Jet Li. He is big gigantic, blond in complexion and his dressing code is bizarre. He puts on a plenty-coloured shirt and a brown trouser, no socks on and a brown Sebago-Dockside shoe. You could even spot his fair complexion on his leg and the dots of hair here and there. The cool, dry-air, dust and haze dry season (Hammatan) is glaring, he has an ever-present, black and red-stripped muffler, even when sometimes it is not necessary to put it on. He was the tenant of the first office of the couloir de la mort at the floor level and he was second-in-command in ASTI. He walked like a pastor during procession. Each time he walked to class, I pictured a Metropolitan Archbishop in him. He took each step after 3 seconds; he walked unhurriedly but efficiently. He had a pair of glasses; polygon in shape, thick and each time he was about to threaten a student he removed his glasses or brought them down and looked at the student right behind his eyes. He was the runner-up in terms of beauty in ASTI with the first being, Elegancia. His name, hum, I know many will want to be acquainted with his name. He had a compendium of nicknames; The Terminologist, Thiery Henry, Titi, Aboubakar, Charly, le DD, le Mignon, etc. He lectured Terminology and beat his hand on his torso as the maiden Terminologist in Cameroon “quote me anywhere”. He lectured the course with passion, fascination and victimization. Yes! I said victimization. He used to threaten all those who were computer-afraid. He also holds the record for the fastest time to train a translator-apprentice; “If I teach you, I give you 4 days to become a professional translator”, he said while gesticulating with those hands of his. No lecturer could do better, even Mr Skopos, Elegancia and Ajalyn could not do so in 4 days. He also holds the record for threatening a student until she pee on her pants. I remember he insulted this fat-jawed, tall, half-filled milk-bag and levelled-butt level 1 student to the point where she almost gave up ASTI. She cried like a old Bamiléké woman who had lost her other half and pee on her pants a little. Don’t ask me if I saw it. People did! Titi equally holds the record of teaching for the highest number of hours 24 hrs non stop (Reason why our class took 5 hours). When his time is up, you see students frowning, and waiting for him to take a French leave, but Abou still had much to say. I remember he taught us right up to 8 pm with no lights in class. I could only see white eye balls clicking all over the place. In fact, anything affiliated to Le Mignon was incredible. When he lectured in class, he gesticulated as if his hands were frozen. I guess that was his style and he could even send those fingers in a students eyes. (Lol). All in all, Charly was a nice man, one of the most experienced lecturers in ASTI, his course was much-loved and almost nobody failed. Cheers!