Eight Reasons I Why Left The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

Eight reasons why I left Mormonism

Eight Reasons Why I Left The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

 

Eight

 Stephanie Meyer, Twilight.

She tried to convert Lestat to Mormonism

Didn’t get the memo from Anne Rice

Lestat loves Louis, not Belle

 

Seven

Three hours of boredom

Enough to hang myself

I’ve endured this since birth

Somehow, I’m still breathing

 

Six

 I love to swear like a sailor

At four, I screamed “F**k”

During Sacrament, tried shaming me

Shaming me didn’t work

 

Five

Joseph Smith, E. L. James

What do they have in common?

Both love making s****y fanfiction

That are shittier than the original

 

Four

 Body curvy and busty

Not my fault, yet it is my fault

I’m asking for it

My fist is asking to kiss your face

 

Three

 Why do the men get fifty wives?

Why can’t I have fifty husbands?

It wouldn’t be right, might turn gay

Ever thought it would turn lesbian?

 

Two

Wait! Black people are children of Cain?

Native Americans are evil Jews?

Being Gay is a choice?

This sounds like a scam

 

One

I went to college

Truth b***h-slapped me to reality

Evolution is way cooler

Than The Garden of Eden

Reviews

[SGCool]

This is mercilessly accurate and scathingly funny. I like your style.

[SilverInk]

This was certainly interesting, I agreed with 8, 7, 5, and 2. It's interesting to hear bout religions from people who broke away from them, and very educational.

[Abraham Luna]

Fo some reason I find this very funny only because I was raised Mormon also because the things you say are kinda true I'm going to be honest this was funny

[GreenShoes]

Very enjoyable read. I'm starting to think all religion should be abolished. As for college, I'm leery of what some professors teach.

[Tony Jordan]

The Roman Catholic stuff is as bad.
Yeah, it does take a stint in the real-world to illuminate the dogma rocks under which we had been hidden by our parents.
Good one!

[Kuisma]

Funny poem, but aren't you scared without the magic underwear?

[Natasha Zoya]

Nope, the magic underwear only applies to married people and I'm staying single forever :)

[Gee]

Forgotten I'd read this, even better second time round.

[Declan Gleason]

As a non-Mormon living in Utah this brings me so much joy.

[TheSaganist]

Great stuff. This is why poetry exists!

[Gee]

Love this.........and a wee bit more