-Luka (#2)

"I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I am f*****g miserable, and I'm not really sure what to do. When I get like this, I can't think or speak, and I sure as hell can't tell you what is going on. I can't explain how I'm feeling because I don't know how I f*****g feel. All I know is that there is something making every breath I take harder than it should be. There's something keeping me from having the want to be alive. I mean, You know how messed up I am. Self mutilator, schizophrenic, paranoid, depressed, suicidal, the list goes on for days it seems. I was 7 when I first started thinking the aliens were after me. They thought it was just me being a kid, but I kept going on and on about it, and they kept waving it off like it was nothing. One day, the day I started having my hallucinations, I tried clawing my eyes out, and they finally took me to a doctor. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. They didn't even try to care for me after that. They sent me here, and they had someone come check up on me every few days, get me groceries, take me out a little. I had 8 different women in the first year, but after that, I had this one woman for the rest of the time, until I was 16. Her name was Gretta. They stopped paying her to come, and I haven't made contact with anyone since except for Delyeah. She was Gretta's granddaughter. I met her when I was 8, and it started out that I just saw her when Gretta would come, but sometimes Gretta was sick, and she sent Delyeah, and Delyeah would come on her own sometimes too. Eventually she started coming everyday, and one day, she told me that Gretta wasn't coming back because she was sick, and my parents stopped paying her. I think she died last year, but I can't remember exactly. I eventually contacted my parents, and we came to an agreement. I would call them one time a year, and other than that, I would not contact them. In that phone call, I could ask for a favor. I got them to pay her bill. Eventually I got a credit card in the mail with a note that said 'For everything you need and want. Use how you want, but not excessively.' So I'm just by myself."

Author's Note

This is in the perspective that my character is talking to someone