-Nathan

“Jay, there’s something I need to tell you,” I told him. He turned to me..

“What is it, Nathy?” he asked.

“When I was a schoolboy, there was a boy who sat across the room from me in nearly every class. He was kind of tall, but he was really skinny. He wasn’t really one to talk much except to his couple friends. He was really sweet to people when he did talk and interact with people. He seemed like he could never hurt a fly.

“I tried not to stare when he would talk during class discussion, but I couldn’t help it sometimes. I’d look at him sometimes, and I swear to you, Jay, he was always staring at me, but he was always quick to look away because staring can be quite creepy, obviously.

“I think I was about 17, my junior year, when one day, we were assigned as project partners. Naturally, we needed to meet up somewhere to work on our project. My house was out of the question, seeing as my dad was there. He wouldn’t have been very happy about that.

“We ended up going to his house and doing the whole project at his house over the course of a couple months. He was the sweetest boy, Jay. He never raised his voice at anyone, he never seemed angry, he never even clenched his fist.” I could feel the tears begin to swell in my eyes, a lump in my throat as I spoke.

“He started to get use to me, I could tell. He would joke around with me, and we’d talk about stuff other than the project, even at school, but the last two or three weeks, he began acting strange. He began not talking to me at all at school and barely when we were at his house. I didn’t know why, but I wasn’t going to push him.” I had to close my eyes for a few seconds and tell myself to stop crying. It didn’t work very well.

“Eventually, I asked him what was wrong, asked him what happened. He tried telling me it was nothing, but I didn’t believe that. I pushed him for a while about it. I wouldn’t let it go. I could tell it was getting to him, too.

“One of the last days of our project, I was pestering him about it. He was about to walk out when I blocked the door. I wouldn’t let him out until he told me. He ended up punching the wall and yelling at me that nothing was wrong. There was a hole in the wall. To tell you the truth, Jay, I was kind of scared in that moment. I’d never, ever seen or even heard of him doing that.

“He took in a deep breath, and took his hand out of the wall. I apologized and asked him what was wrong one more time. He kissed me, Jay.

“I was always so determined to make sure I wouldn’t ever get in a relationship because of my father. I didn’t want to be attached to anyone, and I didn’t want anyone to be attached to me. My father didn’t let me out of the house very often, and he never let anyone come over, so what would be the point? Plus, that kept everyone from seeing and asking about the bruises.

“Jay, I gotta tell ya. In that moment, everything faded. It was just me and Rayne in that moment. I wasn’t thinking about anything, not even my father.

“It lasted for about a minute before he finally pulled away. He apologized and told me he liked me, and he looked so ashamed. I think he thought I was going to hate him for it, but I didn’t. Jay, I never told you this, but he was the first person I ever fell in love with.

“He refused to be with me because his family was against homosexuality, and he had never been with a guy. He didn’t want to be picked on at school, either. I understood.

“A few months later, we were both at a party, coincidentally, and we ended up in the same room. We were really drunk, and we ended up sleeping together. He said he didn’t remember it the next morning, and it happened a few times. I liked him, and it was the only attention I got from him romantically or sexually.

“Eventually, we got alone in a room, and I made him come to terms with his feelings while he was sober. We had a great night, and we both remembered it the next morning. We ended up having a secret relationship for a while until my dad caught us.

“He beat the crap out of me that night after almost shooting Rayne, and the next morning he informed me that we were moving here. Rayne and I had no choice but to break up, and we left within a week, seeing as I didn’t have many material items, nor did my father. Then I met you, and damn, it started happening again.”