My Black

The sky's are dark, threatening to beat me down with rain and hail. Let it come, I need the pain to feel alive again. The winds are picking up, trying to blow everything away. I wish they'd attack me, blow away all my sins and leave them over the desert to dry up and crumble.

I'm being reminded that I am not worth the romantic love of any one. I can't even take care of myself, why would anyone want me. Some how I've managed to loose the battle that I have become so good at winning.

The Depression snuck up behind me and grabbed my heart, dragging me along with it into this deep abyss from which it will take me a long time to return. Fighting my way to the top of the pit once more, clawing my way out of the blackness, a blackness that is merely my own heart. A heart that is yearning to be loved as it is without having to go through the pain of healing.

Healing... There's a whole new concept. To heal to be free from my own demons that give me no rest. Would that be possible? Can it happen? It can, but not without my being forced to blame others for my sins, I won't do that.

Just hold on tight to myself, keep me from crumbling. Protect myself from others by building up a thick scar tissue. Scars, through pain, to find a restless sort of calm.

See my black and love my dark. Find a place for me, love me.

 

N. Strong

 

Reviews

[No one]

The themes in this story- considering oneself a sinner, not good enough for love- are universal. Many will relate to those feelings. Also, depression is a great theme to tackle as it affects so many around the world. I really enjoyed this line in particular: ---->The Depression snuck up behind me and grabbed my heart, dragging me along with it into this deep abyss from which it will take me a long time to return.The sky's are dark