Without Her

"Love come and gone"

I miss her again today. I miss her like I have never missed anyone else in my life. Like I have nobody else left to miss. Like I have nobody else to share something with. Like no one else here with me to ask how am I today. Like no one ever understood me the way she did. Like no one ever comforted me the way she did. Like no one ever tolerated me the way she did. Like no one ever had made me believed in myself. Like there is no woman left on the planet aside from her. Like without the memories of her, the identity of a woman would not complete. Moments spent with her had redefined the word ‘happiness’. She made me discovered the treasures of life called hope and bliss hidden underneath my ignorance, anger and different forms of frustration in life. She had me deep. Even the moments we fought had become a sweet memory for me to cherish. How did it ever happen? How can she do it? How can she riveted my existence?

No matter how much I want to sub-consciously deny  this, it is a fact that I miss her. That I want her, to be by my side and not just to imagine her presence within the squeeze of my heart every time there is a pulse to remind myself that I’m physically alive. Not just to recollect her sense every time I tasted a fragrance from some girl passing by. Not just to keep troubling with myself while shopping thinking that she might have liked this and she might have liked that. Buying presents and keeping them for someone I treasured who probably wouldn’t return.

The very absence of her is projecting a constant throb inside the head. The fact that she is not here creates the utter horror. And I know now I’m missing something ‘real’ in my life for the first time. I’m like a window made of broken glass and I feel so hollow. The purpose of my existence just vanishes into thin air. She took a part of me with her. I could never be myself again without her.  I could have abandoned everything here and follow her only if I knew where she went. Just forget about all the realities of life and fantasize with her if I ever could.

 I cling onto the illusion that we are connected somehow, in some way, every day  and that love makes no sense of space wherever she might be. And finally that we will be together again. I don’t have the strength to carry on living half-dreaming about her. I’m feeling like a five year old lost and doesn’t know the way back home. Fear and terror deludes me. Darkness lurks in every corner of the street. Life is a nightmare I’m trying to wake up from. I simply can’t go on without her.

 

Nyi

( 1.10.2011 )

Author's Note

I try to be romantic. I do hope this mean something as it had to me. If there is any grammar mistake please ignore.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

You were romantic. When love leave us. Old heart can't see the light in a day. Your description was strong and made the words seen true. I like the complete story. A very good ending to a excellent story.
Coyote

[.]

I had a friend who lost her love recently..if she read this..I know it would convey exactly how she feels..great emotive piece