Storm

unfinished writing

 

On your knees and you will surrender

For the might of me is such a wonder

With my touch, rocks become vulnerable

Nothing that I’ve done is tolerable

I’ll take your love ones, you will grieve

Then on your soul and body I will feast

Don’t tempt me with your technology, my wrath can escalate

Through horrible pillage and complete annihilation, I will retaliate

I’ll wipe out cities and create desolate sight

Within seconds, I can sweep away your pride

 

Nyi

( 5.7.2010)

Author's Note

I didn't finish this writing...just something that i wrote down before I went to sleep and the next day..I lost the mood to continue writing this..also..i realized that many people write about nature..so i wrote this piece...hope this portrays the identity of storm....please leave some comments...thanks for reading this

Reviews

[Abdul Aziz]

Very nice, quick read. I like the rhymes. They don't seem forced at all. You do a good job describing a storm.

[James Watts]

Storms can be the deadliest weapon in mother nature's arsenal, that's true. They can also be very soothing, the right kind of storms, anyway. Nice write.

[Joshua Donahue]

it was a really great, quick read. however, i didn't get the last line. all of the rest of the lines actually described how a storm affects society, but i just didn't get the connection of a storm and pride. might just be me. but really cool visuals.

[Julijana Velichkovska]

Within seconds, I can sweep away your pride
Strong! like a storm ;)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Great personification of the storm. The visuals were stunning.

[Ashley.M.E]

hmm, oddly without the title I would have had no clue what you were talking about, I would have believed it was a person. Still this is a very nicely made poem, all and all. Well done.

[R E Tree]

Wow this does portrays the identity of a storm. I can see images of it in my head. Storms do make people feel vulnerable so I like the words you have used for this. Every line to this is so remarkable. It makes you feel like there is a storm happening right now, the poem gives you the feeling like you should panic and it makes my heart race. This is a brilliant effect on the reader

[Coyote Poetry]

Thunder is so beautiful and powerful. Last year it took out my two tree. Cut them in half. I like the description. Nature can do great damage. A outstanding poem. I like the strong sentences.
Coyote