A Moment

 

She appears from the crowd and she’s alone

I can see she emits invincible waves that glows

Different from others, we two are on the same frequency

So I start to honour her beauty with my eyes relunctantly

As my thoughts and feelings collide with hers in the air

She starts to scrutinize me through the stare

 

In love, I could never be mature

Think about grow old with her she seems demure

I know looks can be deceptive

I wish my thoughts could be more constructive

But right now, I find her glances quite addictive

 

Sensing my endevour ,she smiles

With this act, she could dig out secrets from abyss of my mind

I try to freeze this moment

Squeeze it and own it like a monument

Try to keep this moment inside my memory

As it slips away from my grip silently

Wish I could turn back the time

Regretful for not following her, now I think it’s a crime

Nyi

( 16.5.2010 )

Author's Note

ok..i know i'm not good at writing positive things...i'm just giving myself a try.,thanks for reading this.. above writing is pretty crazy for me...i know my writings are weird..for i don't really know how to write..it's just that i find writing very powerful media to burst out my feelings..so i wrote without much thinking..but let me know what you think..thanks for reading this...i can improve!...

Reviews

[Julijana Velichkovska]

it is a nice story, maybe you can work on it a little bit more, let it slip through your tongue! You have captured the moment with your words and that really counts!

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem really connects. It brings back memories that some of us would like to have forgotten...but it is a beauty...even in its blue nature.

[Dupree]

1st, dear NYI, writing is all about feeling and your doing it write. Most writers try to force a work instead of letting it flow. You must the flame of your emotions lick the page through your pen.

2nd, you are not bad at writing postive things but it does come across like your a little uncomfortable writing this. If your going to write positive you must be in a positive mood.Let your emotions flow, if your forcing it will show in your works.


3rd, this poem isn't all that bad it has a nice veiw and flow, but as I previously stated it feels a but forced to me.

-Dupree

[zombiikillah666]

this is a really good poem.
awesome xD

[Prateeksha Khot]

really liked this poem

[R E Tree]

Love is a obsession no one can live without it. Love can cause pain but it can fix the pieces of a broken heart. But sometimes if the pain is so bad it can't. There is no heart pain here so your just probably wondering what am I talking about. I am just explaining what love is and this write expresses love so truthfully. Love at first sight is so romantic. There is a calm peaceful tone to this write. The poem is understandable and easy to read.

[Ashley.M.E]

this is actually really good, I suck at making positive poems myself, so don't worry about it.

[James Watts]

Me either. My positive side took a vacation many years ago. This was a nice write and I agree with coyote on his review. Once lost, some things never come back.

[Coyote Poetry]

Those people that come into life for a moment and then disappear. I like this poem. I like the internal conversation. It was a sad ending. The missed chances leave us wondering and wishing for things done differently. A excellent poem.
Coyote