my time

A Story by SomeoneElse

A great loss

If i could tell you so many times that i love you, it just really would not be enough. I've told you everything, i've given you my everything. I have no regrets about that, you deserve to see who i am. I exposed myself to you, and i shared it with you, but i just handled it terribly. I'm alone right now, who know for how long honestly. I don't mind it, i prefer it to the alternative of being out every night and day with people i don't exactly relate well as much as i did you. I mean sure, there are people who i fit with. People i love and those who understand the predicaments that i have been in, but no one quite like you. I think i know what to do now, and it's just wait. If you leave with someone else, that's okay too. I've done it, and now it's your turn. I'll be standing here waiting for you, i'll be here clinging to the one thing i have left, and those are my memories with someone who cared about, but i couldn't show that i cared too. They aren't painful memories, really they aren't. In fact they’re happy. It sounds odd, sure, but they are actually happy. I used to embrace the loneliness, but it gets bad at night. Im sure that if i just keep up a healthy lifestyle, and become a better person until school starts then I can survive the summer without you, and who knows, it could go great. You could be happy, and then I could be happy. Hopefully we can be happy together, i'd love nothing more than that believe me. I miss you terribly. I hope you miss me too. Hopefully i will see you around, because you will see me around. I'm gonna make a mark on this world, and it's because of you. You've always influenced me to become a better person, although i know i did not show that when we were together for such a brief time. I could write all day actually just droning on and on about what we could be, because i've had so much time to think about it, so i have that on my side. It gets terribly boring without you, and this whole writing thing is making that pill go down much easier. I realize that if you really did love something, the best thing would be to just let it go, maybe you would be better off. I don't like thinking about that, because the last thing i want is to let you go. There are so many things i could say and simply so many things i could do, and ultimately it is up to you. I wish things had been different, and i know you do too. I pushed away the one spark in my life that gave me hope and certainty for the future. I truly believe that it was my own doing that it all faded in the wind, but maybe I can keep fixing it. maybe we still have hope.