I still do

A year or so has passed and I cannot say that my feelings have been changed rather just muted.

You have always been the pull of the tide that is my life,
not a single day has passed where you do not creep into the solitudes of my mind.
The hum at the back of my mind is the vibrato echoing my aching heart, resonating throughout my life and it is only with you that this faulty menotrome falls into beat, into sync.

Every chance I get I cannot waste and each time I take a bold step I fear for my life that it pushes you back because I know you are afraid and for you to hurt in any way will ultimately hurt me too, tenfold.

I have begged for my selfish heart to once and for all stop but it continues to bleed drop by drop.

Yes I can sustain myself and yes I can survive but can I ever live to my fullest without my other half which I have given ever so willingly to you?

Hand it to someone else, but the mark will always belong to you, you to me, us with each other.

Bewitched, I try to snap myself out of it and in many times I do.
But times like these clamour into the dark recesses of my mind and the only words I can think of is

I still do.