Delightful Drowning

Don't write many sappy love poems....but I am a girl so I had to write one!

Bathed in the light of the morning,
your porcelain skin beckons for me,
your eyes hold the oceans;

It is not even enough
to be as close
as two humans can
possibly be.

I swim in your essence,
bathe in your beauty,
Sink into your embrace,
I want nothing more than
to drown in everything that is you.

Reviews

[R. E. Knowlton I I I]

"I swim in your essence" is a great line; it offers many images, smells, auras, and feelings. That is the magic line of this piece.

Your final line of "I want nothing more than/to drown in everything that is you" is a meaty conclusion. It conjours the images of self sacrifice to be one with another. It is this emotional and metaphorically physical meld/melt that really shows the intensity of the poem.

One thing that stuck with me that I would maybe change would be the double usage of the word 'close' in the second stanza. something about it seemed to redundant with all of the other emotion swirls layed out and before us, the readers. It could just be me and maybe that was your intent, but I figured it might be worth pointing out.

All in all, excellent.

Be well.

Godspeed.

R.E. Knowlton III

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Nicely done. Great way to express theneed for your love. "I swim in your essence, bathe in your beauty, Sink in your embrace." Love those lines. Great work.

[Nathan Strange]

hey I think you got something here, I imagined you writing this on the beach in the sun while you were on holiday for some reason, it's very constructive! I like!