Chapter Two, The Spirits

Chapter Two, The Spirits

A Chapter by J. R.
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Achai seeks help from his mentor regarding his vision.

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Achai woke up in a cold sweat; he had never had just a bizarre dream. He rose from his bed and rubbed his eyes, he walked out of his hut. The morning sun was rising in the rosy sky, the song of birds accompanied the new day. Ama was standing just outside his door, she wore a colorful cloth skirt and a strip of beaded cloth wrapped around her chest, her black hair in long braids decorated with jay feathers, her eyes bright with confidence.

“It’s a beautiful day.” She said, smiling for a bit before immediately noticing the confusion in Achai’s face. “Is there something wrong?”

“I had a strange dream last night.”

“What was it?”

Achai then explained the vision he had last night as best as he could, to a shocked Ama.

“Do you think it’s a sign?” Ama said, wide eyed.

“It has to be.” said Achai, not entirely sure if there was anything significant about his dream.

“I don’t know what it meant.”

“You must tell Tahoma, he’ll know what it means.” said Ama, with a slight urgency in her voice.

Achai nodded in agreement. Tahoma was one of the wisest elders in the tribe; surely he would be able to explain the vision.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tahoma was sitting in his hut smoking an ornate pipe, a thin spiral of white smoke wafted out with his every breath.  He turned to look at his apprentice and smiled warmly, taking the pipe in his hand and blowing a large plume of smoke.

“What bothers you today?”

“I’ve had this dream last night; I was hoping you would know what it means.”

Tahoma narrowed his eyes and craned his head forward inquisitively.

“What did you see in your dream?”

Achai then described everything he had seen to Tahoma, who was oddly nonplussed.

He took another drag of his pipe with a thoughtful expression on his face, before breathing out another waft of pale smoke.

“It’s a vision, the spirits are telling you something.”

“But what are they saying?”

“They’re telling you that you will one day find yourself in a strange place.” He went over to the doorway and peered out at the village. “A strange, distant land.”

Achai stood there, baffled.

“A distant land? But I’ve never even left the forest, none of us have!”

“There was Howahkan.” Tahoma said.

“Howahkan is dead, the elders said so.”

Howahkan was a young hunter who had ventured past the forest out of curiosity. The elders who had known him had said that he was killed by barbarians. His name was a constant reminder of the dangers that lurked outside the forest. Even if Howahkan had survived, he would have surely died of old age. Achai at times wondered what he was like and what outside the forest could have been so fascinating that he would risk his life to see.

Tahoma was silently puffing on his pipe; Achai was still reeling from what he had been told.

“What am I going to do?” Achai, worried.

“Today you will do as you usually do, and hope I was mistaken.”

“Thank you, Tahoma.” Achai said, bowing slightly.

 

Achai turned and left the hut, eager to begin his daily work so he could get the dream out of his mind.

 

Elsewhere, Kangee, Enyeto and Akecheta were in the forest where Akecheta had seen the ghost.

“The ghost had better show up, Akecheta, or else you’ve wasted our time.” Kangee said sourly.

“I stood right in this spot when I saw it. I swear to you, it’s true!”

“Are you sure you didn’t eat something unusual when you saw it?” said Enyeto, smirking a little.

“I’m sure! It was there! Why don’t you two believe me?”

Just then, the three hunters heard the rustling of grass and fallen leaves.  They turned their heads to see that three others had joined them.

The first they noticed was Mato, a giant of a man and the strongest man in the village. His limbs were thick and powerful; his face was stern and bore a scar across his nose from when he had wrestled with a lynx. Standing at his side was Tiwa, a mousey woman with frizzy black hair who tended to the village vegetable garden; she was wearing a simple cloth gown that reached down to her knees.  Standing off to the side was Washta, a thick bodied huntress who spoke little and slept whenever she wasn’t out hunting with the others, she wore a buckskin top with a ragged breechcloth.

“What are you doing out here?” Tiwa said, scratching at something on her shoulder.

“Akecheta brought us out here to look for the ghost.” said Enyeto, stroking his plump belly with one hand. “Somehow we got Kangee to come along with us, he’s been complaining the entire time.”

“Are you sure you didn’t eat something rotten?” Mato said as Enyeto snickered a little.

“It’s true, I know it is!” Akecheta’s voice had a desperate tone to it.

“I believe you, Akecheta.” Tiwa said, there are many spirits in this forest. Maybe one of them was trying to speak to you.”

Just then, they had all noticed that Achai had followed them at a distance and was listening to them.

“What’s going on?” He said with a slight yawn.

“Akecheta’s lost his mind.” Kangee said, looking toward the village and taking a few steps in that direction.

 

 

 

“We were looking for the ghost Akecheta saw.” Enyeto said. He looked at Washta.

“Washta, what do you think?”

Washta paused for a bit before finally saying “I don’t know.” and walking away.

“She’s so strange.” Mato said to Tiwa as they watched her vanish from sight.

Kangee looked up at the sky. “It’s getting late. We should all be heading back.”

As they walked back to the village, Achai glanced over his shoulder to catch a small flash of light from deep within the forest behind them.



© 2011 J. R.


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the quality of setting and dialogue continues, opening a world for the reader to immerse themselves in. You've introduced many characters, all with rich backgrounds, I'd like to get to know them better, slower, and I can't get a handle on them the way I'd like to from only dialogue. More introductions like this:
"The first they noticed was Mato, a giant of a man and the strongest man in the village. His limbs were thick and powerful; his face was stern and bore a scar across his nose from when he had wrestled with a lynx."
tell their stories, weave them in slowly. How are they related. why did Mato wrestle the lynx? how did he become the strongest man in the village? How does his story dovetail into this story?

In a movie, there are many visual cues for the viewer to determine the manner of relationships between characters, in writing, we have to show it as well as tell it, the more characters, the more "connection" and backstory become important, otherwise they stay strangers in a crowd.
I get a sense of family here, passion, and the tease of adventure, the story is definitely starting to build.

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Added on December 22, 2010
Last Updated on January 13, 2011
Tags: a, new, world, chapter, two, spirits


Author

J. R.
J. R.

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I am an aspiring writer who is interested in improving as a writer and getting my work out to the world. . more..

Writing