I Crave Attention (And Lots Of It)

A poem about self harm in the name of attention, and why people do such a thing

I'm gonna hammer a nail with my face

I'm gonna stick my wang in a fireplace

I'm gonna chow down on broken glass

I hope the paramedics will save my a*s

I'm gonna stand naked in the driven snow

I'm gonna stick my hand in a badger burrow

Whatever draws attention, I'll gladly do

Nothing is too stupid or taboo

I'm gonna start shaving with a lawnmower blade

I'm gonna pound my face with a digging spade

I'm gonna lay down in a busy city street

I'm gonna wear a yarmulke to a Neo-Nazi meet

I'm gonna practice cunnilingus on a blender

I'm gonna go skiing on a drunken bender

I'm gonna circumcise myself with a butterfly knife

I'm gonna get attention by endangering my life

Reviews

[lily platycorn]

This is so funny but when you think about it is actually alarming that Americans do something close to this.

[StarNinja]

I didn't know Sarah Palin wrote poetry.