Mountains and Needle-eyes

This writing kind of is, and kind of isn't, a story per se; it's a TEDTalk that I had to present to my AP Lit. class a month ago, and now I think the time is right to share it with the world.

Audience, you most likely have heard of the phrases “never give up” and “never let anything get in your way,” which you may think are clichéd, overused, and don’t apply to nonfictional characters. You are right and wrong; right because the ways they are said are not only cliché, but also kind of unspecific, so let me just rephrase them: whether it is external or internal, you can move any mountain and squeeze through any needle eye with the right amount of determination. On the other hand, you guys are wrong; these do indeed apply to such real people as three people who actually had to move almost the exact same mountain: Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, and of course, myself.

What is this mountain, you may ask? Well, it’s one of those “internal mountains/needle eyes” of which I previously spoke. It’s a mental condition, a mild form of autism known as Asperger syndrome. You see, growing up, I was a very shy child who did not have many real friends until I came to Maya (I still am shy and awkward in case you haven’t noticed); one might have said that I was anti-social. This perception of who I am led to a -- excuse my French here -- f**k-ton of bullying. I was called “gay,” “weirdo,” “creep,” and even “retarded.” One bully who I will not name because I’m the bigger man even passed me a mean note that said that I was quote-unquote “retarted;” so I’m guessing it’s socially unacceptable to magically transform from a blueberry tart to a Nutella tart, eh? Anyway, I was bullied in my former schools, most notably in Covenant Christian School, and it sucked. In fact, on every single day of my 7^th grade career, I cried because the bullying was that freaking bad; and in 8^th grade, I almost never uttered a word because though some of the bullies left that year, the ones who stayed gave me the silent treatment.

On a more positive note, aside from my awkwardness and perceived “antisocialness,” (because, you know, calling someone a retard is SOOOOOO socially acceptable) I exhibited a type of intelligence that was slower than everyone else’s, but significantly higher. It not only allowed me to be analytical when problems arose and take my time with them, but it also gave me a gift that’s sort of rare nowadays (seeing as music nowadays goes something like “Let’s go to the beach-each, let’s go get away!”): creativity. I could express myself mostly in the artistic form of writing. For example: when I was in fourth grade, each week we had to write a story that included vocabulary words for English class; this was back when spelling was still a subject. I used this opportunity to write a series of Godzilla-style stories where a hero fights a monster and the monster keeps coming back to life. Aside from the fact that my work now is more adult and better quality, things have not really changed much when it comes to my creativity.

Perseverance through my life of having Asperger not only has been beneficial in terms of self �"esteem, but it actually kept me alive. Yeah, I actually had quite a number of thoughts of ending it all in 8^th grade before coming here to Guate. But because I showed my backbone, I have found two schools that respect me for who I am and not for how my brain is wired: Maya and Oglethorpe. And more importantly, I discovered my calling: being a writer, actor, and maybe a motivational speaker after this talk. I’ve learned that I’m neither a retard nor the pastry equivalent of Nymphadora Tonks; I’m an extremely intelligent, creative human being in the same caliber as Einstein, whose teachers said he’d never amount to anything; and Bill Gates, a former awkward teen whose detractors said “Stop messing with those machines and get a real job.” Einstein is and will forever be regarded as one of the greatest scientists of all time, Bill Gates is the second-richest man on earth, and I believe I have a bright future of acting and writing ahead of me. So how did I squeeze through my needle eye? I chose to coexist with it, that’s how. Whenever you’re feeling like giving up, please do me and yourself a favor and take this idea worth spreading into account: whether it is external or internal, you can move any mountain and squeeze through any needle eye with the right amount of determination.