Sullen Girl

Yakari Ishimoto.

           People hear me...                                        But they chose not to listen.                               They tell me that I am silent,                           But do they know how loud I can scream?              Sometimes you say alot..                                        Without really saying anything... you can still be heard.                                 Like how a bird can be as silent as an ant.                   So sullen but yet so loud.                                   People never see this why you ask?                             They go about their own agenda and ignore the others... people like me.            Then when I speak they complain about how sullen and quiet I am.                       That is when they pay attention.                            Another example is how a red rose can tell you...    That they love you.           Or how a ring can say "Marry me." without you saying a word.                          By day people are alive and loud...                            By night not even the loudest person is speaking.          So by reading this poem aloud...                                 People will finally hear when I speak.                        I am the sullen-quiet-girl.

Author's Note

Ya... this peom is talking about Yakari Ishimoto's feelings and bascically discribeing her. She is a character from one of my up coming stories. I will write the story when I get the chance too. Sooo.. ya bye! XD

Reviews

[Momo the Elf]

i really like this poem~ i can relate to her thoughts a lot, actually... but i loved the wording you used, and the format i thought was particularly creative. great write! if it's not too much trouble, can you either message me or send me a read request when you write the Yakari Ishimoto's story? i would realy love to read it! :) anyways, wonderful job! ^_^

[The Lone Wolf Prose]

This was quite an interesting read. I know everyone is questioning the format - intentionally or no- but either way I like it. It adds to the disjointedness of the thoughts reflecting how thoughts tend to flow (or maybe a lack there of of fluidity!). The comparisons/imagery that you chose are very interesting in using the Shakespearean comparison of a rose in another way or setting the example of simple understanding in the presentation of say a ring. These are real things and I think you captured the silence/ponderous atmosphere in a unique way. Keep up the work.

[kewlbluetiger]

Not sure the format was on purpose, but I think you have a great characterization here. I think this is a character many can identify with. Good for you to spend the time building your character before attacking the story. (I wish I had the patience!) I can't wait to read why the character is this way, and how you use her in action!

[Rainbow Skank]

................thans for reading my poem! tell me wat u think!

[Ruby Moon]

interesting format... how did you get the arrangement of words to be so choppy? but then it does suit the message : perhaps i should go try different arrangements of words too ^-^

[Rima]

Excellent poem!
It is unique, the format was great and the ending was perfect.
It describes feeling and emotion well
Wonderful job

[Sseoni]

I really liked this! It was amazing and brlliant! The format of the poem was so cool and unique! It was awesome! XD

[Saturn's Lover]

Aw, i really liked it. It was very well said. Great job, loved the style you used as well. Made it all the more fascinating and in depth, you really see how the character feels, just by the style it's written in.

[Taylor H.]

this was really good. The spacing made it look cool as well, but made it a little hard to read. I want to read your story. Get it up soon and RR me.

[Fanciful Goddess]

Love it