Take My Hand

This is my first Drabble entry for the Friday Fictioneers group.

Enjoying a caffé mocha at my local Starbucks, a handsome but ashen man with deep blue eyes and silvery hair sits down next to me.  

“Take my hand Jasmine.” He says reaching out and smiling.

“Excuse me?”

“You have to come with me.....”

Sirens wail outside.  I see a young blonde man, bounding up the steps towards me, gun in hand. He turns, raises his weapon and fires at the police.  They return fire.  I feel multiple bullets hit me as I fall to ground.  Reaching up I take the man’s hand.  We float away leaving my lifeless body behind.

Author's Note

Let me know what you think?

Reviews

[New Theory]

Creepy story, they died!!!!.

[nseddy]

Thank you!!

[New Theory]

You are welcome :)

[Sara R.]

“You have to come with me.....”

I got goosebumps! It's neat how the "afterlife" came to escort her before she was actually gone. Great job!

[nseddy]

Thank you!!

[Margo Seuss]

oooooh! An afterlife sort of a thing! I like this! After reading a lot of these really short stories I sometimes end up thinking, "that could have been expanded upon a bit more." But not here! I absolutely love this! I just have one suggestion. Maybe mention something about the police being at the Starbucks before hand. I just felt like the police sort of just aparated out of no where! Maybe say something like, "I was sitting in Starbucks next to a group of cops enjoying my café mocha when..." I also don't think café is spelled with two f's. "Take my hand, Jasmine," he says

[nseddy]

wow thanks for the great review!

[Taylor_McCutcheon]

That was awesome! I love hoe subtle the guy was and it was creepy how calm he was about it. Great story.

[nseddy]

Thanks Taylor!

[Taylor_McCutcheon]

No problem :)