No Volunteer Here

A Story by Topaz

What happens with good initiative, bad judgement

Poli Sci is good s**t I really liked it and thought that it interested me a lot. I worked on a few campaigns, one for a gubernatorial campaign and it was fun up until the time I got fucked in half and treated like a traitor...this is what happened:

I had just finished working for six months at a law firm and because I was the twenty year old intern, I was at lowest point of the totem pole. The s**t killer. The photo copier. The mail boy. The guy that cleaned up everyone's mess. I think you get the point.

This mentality followed me when I interned for a gubernatorial campain. I was the errand boy. I would go to the opposing sides speeches, video taping it with a digital camera, all legal of course. I don't mean that tongue and cheek, I mean it truly was legal what I was doing. So whatever, I was campaign's b***h. Didn't matter to me; I found it rather intriguing. So it was all going smoothly until that one day that resulted in me getting fired from a non-paying job.

I think it was every Tuesday that we would conduct a phone bank. So it was Tuesday and everyone was finishing up with their phone calls. To incentivize the stale process of calling hundreds of people and saying the same thing over and again, we got PIZZA! Yay! Like we were second graders who got a special day for 'cleaning the classroom really good'. So like a good errand boy, I decided to clean up. I mean no one asked me to do this chore, but I was used to cleaning up after people.

I scurried around and picked up all the pizza boxes and brought them up stairs. Well the up stairs was the 'secured floor' and on my way downstairs some woman who clearly had some clout asked me "what are doing up here?". "I am throwing out the trash," to which she responded "Did anyone ask you to throw out the trash?" I told her no. I walked down stairs with a beaming smile, as if I had taken a great initiative and I would be appreciated. Wrong.

I wake up the next morning to a phone call:

"Hi, Jamie, this is Ashley."(Ashley was the Volunteer Coordinator)

Me: "Oh hi Ashley"

Ashley: "Hi Jamie. So you took out the trash last night and no one told you to do that so we are going to ask you not to come back today. Or ever. You are off the campaign. I am sorry but you are a security risk."

----Confused (Because I had woke up but 20 seconds ago) and Angry (Because I was just fired for taking out the trash)

Me: "Are you F*****G serious? Let me get this straight, you are firing me because I've been you're b***h for the last month and you are f*****g firing me for taking out the trash?"

Ashley:"Now Jamie, there's no reason to swear and get angry. Just be thankful that I am calling you and not just sending you an email."

Me:"You got to be f*****g kidding me."

CLICK-End of telephone conversation

So, if you want to know something about Political Science, take it from me: Refuse to ever take out the trash.

-Topaz