Eternal pain

cut away rip ur skin as you feel no pain blood is falling ur bodys fallin in a dais death is coming ur heart is pumping with wholes that bleed crimson red ur visions blurry out side its pooring now its time to meet the dead you close ur eyes ur body shaking as ur mind drifts away u drop ur razor the light grows dimer ur lif is swept by the devilsh angels that feed off ur pain you awaken ur soul is forsaken as you live with ur eternal pain...

Reviews

[Mz. Rosilyn Vanessa]

This is very deep. We all endure different stressers in life but, the pain that we don't share or let out is very harmful to the soul. Words, can't express the emotions I felt as I read this piece. Very good work on this piece.

Hats off to You

[James Takeo Panton]

I agree with spelling suggestion, but i would still maintain the structure of the writing..it is very effective...

[Legion]

They just never seem to get the ending. What a surprise. Good point made.

[Kris Tate]

I wish I could say I liked this, I think I would but the use of "u" instead of you and the lack of punctuation makes it hard to see the pain I know is in these words.