Ghost

Self-perception isn't just mind of matter. This is about being a slave to love, that, and invisibility.

Ghost

(Listen to with Hear Your Heart by James Bay)

 

I am the ghost in the shadows,

You are the angel in the meadows.

You stand out like a red wildflower,

In a sea of white surrender.

I’d wave my flag anytime you asked,

If you say sit, I lay.

When you say silence, I disappear.

I hold your hand softly,

As we skip stones in this valley of bones,

And walk along the riverbeds.

The sound of your sweet song,

Is all I need to hear.

I don’t need your deepest secrets,

Whispered in my ear.

All I need is the low beating drum,

Of your slow beating heart.

I am transparent in the presence of you,

You see all things that are true.

You see through me, and it hurts because,

You see past me too.

As you dance, I stand in front of the mirror,

But you do not dance for me,

No you do not see me here.

I am just smoke and mirrors.

Seasons change, colors fade,

The tides will still come every day.

It is not death I fear,

For the sun will rise tomorrow,

And I know you will be here.

If only you could know I was too…

We walk in silence through the enchanting forest,

You tell me your fears, hopes, and dreams.

But when I try to tell you mine,

You do not listen, it seems.

We skip along the underground streams.

You hide behind the trees,

To tease and entice my darkest desires.

Your green eyes smile with your heart.

This love, this life, it must be everlasting.

This water, these oceans, the streams,

They must be everlasting.

My love for you, it must be…

Everlasting.

Then, you break the silence,

But it is not my name you call.

I turn confused, there is no one here but me…

No one will ever be as present as me,

No one will ever give you as much as I.

But then I turn back, and you are gone.

Where have you gone my angel?

I search behind every tree, under every rock,

Where have you gone?

I shout your name,

But the words come out as air.

I have lost you, I fear,

Didn’t I tell you life was cruel, unfair.

Or is it possible that I never found you…

Is it possible you were never here…

I feel so cold, so alone,

The forest is dark,

It is a lonely place now.

I look for a way out, but the trees go on forever.

Voice start to whisper from behind the trees,

Gone, gone, gone they say.

No, this can’t be true.

Could she be just a figment of my imagination?

Just an idea to keep me warm at night?

A thought to hold me so I wouldn’t be lonely,

In my darkest hours?

An escape from the cruelty of reality.

A hand to hold,

When really, no one was here…

My love, my love, my love,

If you stay,

I promise we can watch the cars pass by,

And lights dance across the rainy streets.

I promise we can listen to music,

Soft or loud, whatever you please.

I promise to hear your words,

I just want to lay you down your burdens.

Forgive me if it is not my voice you want to hear,

I can be silent too.

I can do that.

I would do anything for you.

So please, please come back green eyes.

Let me hear you joyous laugh,

Let me see your smiling eyes.

You can run and hide behind the trees,

And peek to see if I am watching,

You know I will be.

Every step, every breath, I will be watching you.

You can balance along the tracks of the train,

You are my only remedy for this empty void,

I guess that’s why they call it window pain.

Please come back, I will wait forever.

I’ll find my way out of the dark woods,

And follow the light.

It gets brighter as I near the edge,

Then I see you.

I run to you.

You smile, but not at me,

Only into the distance behind me.

But I do not care.

I run faster and faster,

I keep running to the place I belong.

Reaching, and finally touch your hand,

But you do not hold mine.

I know you cannot see me,

I am just a phantom of my own imagination.

You are every shade of blue,

And I, the most sinister of reds.

Once, you looked twice, blue,

And the skies turn lilac.

But you decided purple,

Just wasn’t for you.

Still I follow you everywhere,

I am a ghost in the shadows,

You are the angel in the meadows.

The blood wildflower stains the surrender,

With my love and pain.

I stand in the middle of the flower bed,

I will always be there,

Where you are,

That’s where I’ll be.

Wherever you are,

That’s where I will be.

Because you, you are everlasting.

And I am Everwild.

But you could never love a ghost like me,

I know this much is true.

This much, I know is true.

 

                          n.c.b.

 

Author's Note

I write when my thoughts are too much for me to handle, usually on a dark day. Everything I wrote here, well, it speaks for itself.

Reviews

[Liv]

Wow, this poem is full of raw emotion from start to finish, in a good way. As a reader, I want to know so badly what happens after that; does the narrator find their own path, or watch as their partner moves steadily away from them forever? And it's awesome that you leave the reader hanging like that. It makes them think. Lastly, I hope that whatever thoughts inspired this poem are resolved.

[noahbrannigan]

Hey thanks so much liv, really means a lot that you read it. I hope they're resolved someday too.