Spinning

So yeah this happened

I tried to be there

Because I knew you were freaking out

Then it sank in

Why you were terrified

It's a horrifying thought

My breath gets short

Then rapid

I take deep breaths

But too fast

The world starts spinning

Except for your voice

How that's possible is beyond me

I hear what you're saying

I understand it

Everything else is there

But it's not

It's there

But I can't see it

I stand up

It only gets worse

I use the chairs as balance

I maneuver myself around the maze of tables and chairs

Yet I can't see

It's all there

But it's not

My head is spinning

I can still only hear you

Everything sounds like someone is trying to yell

But it comes out a whisper

Like you're trying to be heard

But no one can hear you

It's terrifying

I start yelling

I think I'm screaming

I look around

Still yelling

This horror

No one can hear me

I'm not yelling

It won't come out

You're still talking

And I'm breaking down inside

I don't know what's happening

It's worse than the last time

The world around me is being distorted

I can barely hear you

To the point where I can only hear my breath

And my heartbeat

My pulse quickens

I'm breathing more heavily than I ever have

It all goes dark

I can see again

I'm on my knees

You're walking to help me up

We both go to the nurse

Where I break down crying

Behind the curtain

Behind the door

I hear you talking

I wish I could talk to you

But I'm crying too much

More than you've ever seen me cry

My sleeves are soaked

And my head is still spinning

Because of what just happened

What I missed

What I wanted to do

But I wasted my time at the beginning of lunch

Just talking about a vine

When I could have helped

I could have done both

Them first

When you seemed okay

And once that was over

I could live the mental nightmare

The spinning

I wanted to help you

I don't know if I did

I hope I did

Regardless

My head is still spinning

Author's Note

I only cried four times today

Reviews

[sette]

a truly sad poem very expressive too in terms of depth and content