Faded

Just a short piece I wrote about the partying lifestyle and the dangers that come with it (it's not preachy, I promise). May or may not be expanded. Written in first person.

I lay wrapped around the glistening white toilet, my breath shallow against the coolness of the tiles. I was drifting in and out of conscious thought. A stray arm snaked its way around my waist as I was made aware of another body behind me, most likely in the same state of mental disarray as I. Feet attached to legs attached to detached girls and boys ambled by in flashes of color; no one stopped. That was one thing you learned: the party, in all its perverse and dark glory, never stopped for anyone. My skin was boiling; the body against my own did nothing to help the situation. I tried to pry the person off of me as I looked over my shoulder—a girl, younger than I, flaxen hair stuck to her face and mascara trailing down her porcelain face, looked apathetically back at me with empty, heavy lidded eyes. She didn’t react when I wedged my feet between us, pushing her away. She only rolled over onto her back, her vacant eyes now cast towards the ceiling; her head hit the bathroom floor with a dull thump. The only sign of life exuding from her person was the feeble rise and fall of her chest. My eyes roved lazily around the bathroom; the crisp sterility of the scene almost blinding. Was this it? There were no fleeting visions of my life flashing before my eyes, no overwhelming feeling of redemption. F**k, there wasn’t even the white light, save for the harsh florescent bulbs beaming down in my face. No. This was reality; the niceties of death were reserved for so-called saints and silly fairy tales, not strung-out teenagers who succumbed to too many drug cocktails. Death would be anticlimactic, with only the cool smoothness of those stark, white porcelain tiles for comfort.

Reviews

[Violet Rose]

The imagery of a brief moment are captured wonderfully in this short piece. It appealed to all of the senses, especially your opening sentence. I would strongly recommend, however, separate paragraphs and indentations. They'd help the reader keep track of their placement in reading. Kudos!