not uh poem

just writing what my mind thinks, enjoy?🌹 if anyone sees this, im sorry...?

Every day there’s another version of myself that comes to light, its confusing.

It feels lonely as I am pondering to find who I truly am

Makes you think about each day the same but react differently,

Wishing to be the best me I can be

Confused on how so, 

Making a smile or sharing a few laughs, 

I simataniously get distracted for a minute or so

Those minutes and every second of them I feel free but suddenly its taken away once more as I lose the smile and feel the gloominess creep over my shoulder

Wishing I could shake the feels gone, it grows 

Then I go blank, mind so empty it has you questioning what you were just so head forward about, 

I confuse myself and I don’t get how or how to stop, 

Im stuck looking down at my feet as everyone around feels content in themselves,

Makes me think about how they can be so free minded in normal moments and I sit back taking everything in that’s being said. 

I used to be the loud one who had everything and anything to spew

But somewhere along the 19 I lost that aspect of myself and I grieve for it. 

Where along the lines did I lose what made me feel normal

Being able to process life with a fine eye saying everything fine

Now I cry and over view every situation im pulled into 

-- uhm, done

SF