The Demons in My Thoughts

A Poem by Nina Arial

This portrays my ongoing tennis match with my demons and thoughts.

I think so much/
So much I can't sleep/
The things I think/
Are the thoughts of creeps/
I can't control myself/
I can't let go of the things I've left/
There's a crowd behind me/
I'm to far down now to be able to see/
Somewhere along this line I've lost myself/
How can I fend off my demons when there's nothing left/
These places no longer feel like home/
The telltale signs weren't ever shown/
When feelings collide the fear writhes within/
And I don't think I will be able to be myself again/
My sins pile up/
I am merciless/
These feelings will always exists/
Sometimes I want to be evil/
I need my soul chained down so I don't float adrift/
That's not what you wanted to hear/
But my thoughts are constantly on the shift/
I will keep bleeding till the pain hits/
And I am no more/
My fire still burns/
And I am able to pull through/
It is an ongoing cycle/
I fear sometime I won't come to/