the probability of now

A Poem by Nick Rosner

I wish I could recapture that train of thought I had a little while ago
   where was it going
   if only I had written it down
   if only I had the presence of mind to write it all down
I wish I could encapsulate the moments that I forget
   where my mind was open
   the valve opened all the way
   and I knew every single thing I needed to know

but those moments pass like sleek white clouds over the blue sky
they soar on and over to the next moment
inside the kettle pot they steam up and escape forever
evaporating in the wind
and all I can catch is a slight wisp of it
as it floats into the distance
   and I am lost forever for it
   and there is no way to recapture it
   and there is nothing to do but grasp onto the little straws of it
   and there is nothing left to do but...

crash burn paper mash turn monster laugh howl the circus tent falls down into the crowed
cowering in the basking rays of moon and sun the same reflection anyways
purpose moments abstract thoughts memories forgotten fun times reflections glass
purity nonsense pity laugh nondescript fleeing ions in a moment
cross stitched and wrapped around

I wish I could remember everything I need to remember
   the days and nights I sat and thought
   the inner discussions that led to revelations
   the purposes and the points that were thrown out
I wish I could...
   oh yes
   I really do

but I know the future is a bleak broken shell of the past and we are
going
going
going
going
down a spiral of madness in which we can never travel back up
and I know this because
I can sense it
see it
feel it
I know this because you told me it all
you told me all of this
in a lucid dream