Paradox - Existence

Paradox - Existence 

 

Strolling the distant treacherous lands,

in search of midnight sea and tranquility,

I reached the blighted realm of mankind,

where each crevices of revered earth,

had an elegy of about their rueful life.

                 

 Some were besieged by the dearth of fate

and followed fallacies of primal races,

many decimated their existence in forlornness,

while few midgets retreated their hovels, 

and sacrifice their kin with partisan eyes.

 

Unraveling the anguish of seared land,

I regressed journey back to my wilted barns.

And there, amongst the qualms of unruly terrains,

I crossed a withered soul gazing the parched lands,

and silently with a sickle in his lean hands,

meandered his gossamer fate.

 

Reviews

An evaluation upon the present culture of man which ends up with a result to man's nowaday value being that of mistakes and failures due to our primitive nature. I find lots of indian poetry based on modern day society seem to judge the true aspect of present day culture, and usually it's a perspective which I share which is that we're making alot of mistakes and not doing anything to fix them due to certain people's behaviors and incapability to see that the life of a pig is only a means to pervert life's structures, not preserve life with integrity.
Loving your usage of imagery as metaphorical undertones to relate your message to the reader, it is certainly an effective way to write I must say. You definitely got some work of value here.
To be constructive though, I must point atleast one criticism. Although your evaluation is pin point I find, and paints a well rounded picture of the existence of human beings, I find it to be a bit bland due to the incompleteness of it's evaluation. With evaluation must come reasoning and teaching behind the words you say. For example: I did a poem recently on the exploits of oil, but I also reasoned that it's because of our love of greed that pulls us away from Alternative energy. Is it not a part of the indian way to be enlightened or to help direct others seek enlightenment? That would be my only point to make, although however I do enjoy your perspective, and it is remarkable how you relate it through scenes or vivid imagery.
Overall, I think a 94/100 is a good rating. thank for such excellent perspective, it's a thought-provoking read.

[Dove]

I used to wonder how people wrote such amazing poems and stories. Then i figured out that the words come from the heart. This is one of the poems that would have helped me realize that. This piece is very amazing it has a really nice flow and it shows your talent. Great job!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the logic and the statements in this poem. I agree with Derek comments. Some parts of the world understand life and the people. Some places create myth and lies to blind the people from the truth. Your words took me to many places. Thank you for the poem that create thoughts and opinion. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Such devastating circumstances,"Unraveling the anguish of seared land",- commenced meandering his gossammer fate." Well done!

[Seshat Nidaba]

dearth, seared, rueful, sickle, regress - really inventive vocabulary here!

It sounds like you ponder fate a lot! Well done.

[Lily Mae]

The balance of life and death is what I feel with this... The journey is in search of and yet death silently walks with sickle in hand.. very good..x