Elegy

Penned on Jun 7 2008

Here descends Brahma,
“Lord of the universe”.
With every footsteps,
on the shores of sullen seas
He foresees the Shadows besieging him.
But he Still tries to stroll,
in the dunes of sand
and reaches the terrains
where the mortals reign.
But suddenly he realizes,
the curse of Lotus
Still desolates him.
And He cedes the earth
and flees away to Eden
along with his rueful plaint.

Reviews

[Aarontastic]

Pretty good poem, I think, although I can't appreciate it fully with my limited knowledge of Hindu mythology/theology.

The first three lines were great, and I love the alliteration in the fourth, but the line following it feels awkward to me, most likely because it departs so abruptly from the rest of the poem because of its syllable count. It gets better afterward though, and the last few lines close it out artfully.

[Jazique]

Wow it was interesting. I may not be entirely sure what it was but, some part of me say I like it.

[Dove]

Cool. I like it.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the short tale of Brahma. You create a beautiful vision and allow me to walk into a good world. Thank you for the outstanding poem. I wish it was longer to be able to know more of a interesting world and thoughts. A excellent poem.
Coyote