Punishing

The protagonist’s toxic self-sacrifice. How far are you willing to sacrifice yourself for another in the name of love?

Does this game look fun to you?

Are you laughing behind my back?

Why do I let you control me like that?

Is my love for your show and tell?

Is my pain treating you well?

 

I tried,

I tried so hard,

I tried my hardest to make it better

I would glue, I would tape,

Every broken piece together

I wouldn’t run, I wouldn’t escape

Because who was I to let you suffer?

 

Even if you didn’t help,

Even you didn’t appreciate,

It was fine, I didn’t mind

But then you stepped on my head

Took advantage of me

Told me that you loved me

All while wishing I was dead instead

 

I broke myself to fix every part of you

I burnt myself so you’d never get cold

I forgot myself just to be reminded of you

I let go of myself so you’d be the only one I could hold

 

I sold every piece of my soul so you could be my all

I drowned myself in you even if I couldn’t breathe

I gave you heaven even if hell is where I’ll meet my fall

I killed my whole self so that only you could live

 

I lose myself just so that I could find you

 

Disillusioned and disenchanted,

I realised that I was only engulfed in fear

Once blinded and haunted,

You’ll see that this game ends here.

Author's Note

I listened to a couple of Korean songs before writing this. Songs from Asia tend to be very poetic - They use much dramatic effect to get their point across. I am very much influenced by that since I'm Asian myself.

Reviews

[¿]

Oh Nisha,!!! Is like terrific!!
I wanted to take a particular stanza as my fave but I kept reading and each was splendid!!
The lines are like stuffed with agony and pain that compell a reader to imagine and feel the suffering even for a moment of flicker!!
It's fascinating friend😊

[Nisha M.]

Ahhhhh!!!!! I'm so so glad you liked it friend!! I felt like I was being tortured when I wrote this haha. Thanks for the kind review!!

[¿]

You're heartedly welcome friend😊

[April Blue]

I have known this type of love before, this is truly amazing .. I love the description here and the word usage.. Very well done..

[Nisha M.]

Thank you so much for this!! This is so kind of you :)