Sometime in 2013 When I Brought You Flowers

 

My head is an animal

 

It howls in ragged breaths

 

And at night throws itself against its cage

 

My body is an ocean

 

It storms and churns and rages under a silent moon

 

 And when dawn breaks it spits me out on a far-flung shore

 

Away from you

 

You, who tried to love me with soft cakes and long rides in your father’s Mercedes

 

My heart is a prisoner

 

Force fed 1 AM cigarettes, frozen White Castle sliders, 48 hours of amphetaminic

overwork

 

I think about when my head touches my pillow and I am not high

 

You never cross my mind any more

 

My head is an animal

 

A mash of bones and flesh and tendons and gristle

 

Inhaling exhaling running slipshod through tall dead grass

 

Someone would ask why are you running?

And I would say I did not know why I did not know what else to do

 

And they would say sit and stay and speak and grow here

 

But their words would shatter and crumble like a dry weed blown across an open plain