Little Plastic Stars

 

What once was child’s room

Now rests my bed

Spray-plastered ceiling

With stars overhead

Each night do I sleep

Beneath dim plastic glow

Little kid’s stars

From here they’ll not go

I let them remain

Above me at night

Faint constellations

Just within sight

Looming beyond window

Mirrored night sky

Real stars twinkle

In darkness so high

Millions and sparkling

But so far away

And they disappear

With each coming day

My stars are dim

Plastic stuck on

These are the stars

That I wish upon

 

Reviews

[Jason Young]

There's almost an eerie way to how these plastic stars are described, as though you're making a parallel allusion to society. The last few lines "My stars are dim/Plastic stuck on/These are the stars/That I wish upon" send chills down my back. It's like you're saying that the world's people are all children, wishing upon the image, the illusion of reality.

I loved the rhythm. Absolutely flawless in that area. Very good groove, pleasant to read out loud, and beautiful in my inner ear. The rhymes aren't forced, and each one contributes something to the poem, rather than just being there for the rhyme itself.

One of the better poems I've seen lately. Good work.

[David Lewis Paget]

I love this, James. A soliloquy on the real and unreal, the plastic stars of childhood against the real but untouchable stars of adulthood. A journey that takes us from Father Christmas and the Easter Bunny to unrequited love and the mortgage we can't afford. Your return to a preference for childhood values is underlined with your terrific line - 'These are the stars / That I wish upon.'
Your rhyme scheme is very effective, adding that touch of magic to the subject. My only crit is with the line - 'I leave them remain'. Pesonally, I would have used 'let' instead of 'leave', but that's just my own personal choice. Lovely piece.
David.