[untitled4]

Summer rain coming

Lightning flashes across skies

The smell and thunder

 

Reviews

[shiloh jennings]

I need to go read some more of your Haiku's .. but with your background, I'm slightly disappointed that you almost missed the POINT of haiku .... this piece would fit better if you even just said "the smell OF thunder" instead.... the thing that makes haiku more than just 5-7-5 (which would be .. simple .. and not need a name of its own!) is the ending... the juxtaposition of the piece.... I think its referred to as a cutting edge or cutting word or something of the sort ... your lines shouldn't exactly run together and shouldn't exactly be all about the one topic, but they should -- because you're giving the reader pause... and thats the beauty of haiku -- it is so short and yet it is succinct in its thought-provoking... There's nothing WRONG with this piece, of course, it is lovely .... it just... only WANTS to be a haiku ... in the traditional sense, it is not. (sorry, I wouldn't be so forth-right with a complete stranger, I think I only say what I said in the way I said it because I know you .. and thing you can take it and appreciate the advice .. I hope I haven't been offensive!!@#!)

[SacredRose]

Did the recent thunderstorm give you this inspiration? :) It made me want to write too, lol. That's where the poem "Bathe Me" came along. I just absolutley love the rain.