Phantom Love

You were the closest thing I had to contentment.

But my lust for life was ruined by circumstance.

Our past shapes who we are.

Your past left me afar.

Distant.

Trying to smuggle feelings I once had

Into my heart.

Attempting cheap replications of what

Only you

Have the power to evoke 

From my being.

Even at your worst

I'd rather your emotional sadism 

Than the hauntings of a phantom love. 

Author's Note

1.4.2018 This is the last poem I needed to post on Writer's Cafe that I had in phone for a while. Ignore grammar and thanks for reading!

Reviews

[Lavi]

Emotional sadism.... I'm going to remember this mix of words and meaning. So true though. Even I prefer emotional drawbacks over phantom pain/lingering feelings. I love how you write so little but portray so much more than what meets the eye!

Update: No trouble with grammar really. Ah, I've missed reading your work. It always leaves my heart breathless in relation. And truth - because damn, this is real deep. I will forever marvel how writers can tell a story with more emotion and depth than most novels with just a handful of lines. Anyways, keep up the good work!

(- and phantom pains are a b***h but phantom love... that's a whole other m**********r you've described so well here -) why am I replying twice? Short term memory can be such a b***h sometimes but fortunately not here! ;)

[Fanicia E.]

Thank you, that means a lot to me Lavi.

[Williams Ike]

I can say that this poem is sequel to 'Brandon '. Here, the broken pact between two love birds has kept one of the love birds from moving forward emotionally, socially & other wise. This is why the speaker here preferred 'emotional sadism
Than the hauntings of a phantom love'. I've said it before and I'm saying it again, you are a guru in matters of the heart. I love it pretty Fanicia

[Fanicia E.]

Thank you William! I appeciate you taking the time to read and review. I actually wrote this before "Brandon", believe it or not lol

[Final-Karma]

I will start by saying I love the structure of your writing. It flows well and makes reading it visible enjoyable. To the bases of the poem I love it! Phantom love. A specter of what love once was, creeping its way back into flesh and bone. It is a unique concept. Thank you for sharing a piece of your mind.

[Fanicia E.]

I definitely appreciate that, and thank you for reading!

[barleygirl]

Responding to your author's note: I hope this isn't your last poem, becuz we want MORE!!!!! I love the way your message is a little tangled up, the way most relationships don't make perfect sense, but also with that irresistible "pull" of sharing each other's authentic selves . . . much more satisfying than "phantom love" (that impossible fantasy some are eternally chasing). This is a fresh & honest look at how relationships often go! Stay here & keep sharing your excellent writing please! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Fanicia E.]

Thank you Margie! I really appreciate the feedback :) And this is not my last poem it's just the last of a few I had written a while back but didn't post up until yesterday. I actually just put up something I wrote today called "Fear".

[barleygirl]

I already put "FEAR" in my reading list . . .

[Fanicia E.]

Thank you!