Stealing Kisses...

“once i was begging affection from a man... now i’m just stealing kisses from a boi”

* * *

i close my eyes and look the other way... 

because it’s apparent that you don’t see me...

i close my heart if only for a day...

 and hope to understand if you don’t feel me...

i close my lips holding words i want to say...

 for fear of rejection comes along to taunt me...

i close my thoughts and keep them at bay...

 hoping to hide the insecurities of the "real" me...

* * *

"once i was needing attention from a man... but i'm still stealing kisses from a boi"

Author's Note

this one is very open to interpretation...

Reviews

[Jeoffrey Penserini]

This really speaks to me which to me is the most important thing I'm writing. The connection is profound. It says to me we are willing to suppress ourselves just to get that feeling like love. It's not love but it will suffice if just for the moment. All the while we know it won't last, it's not real, and we're only pretending. The length and meter illustrate the type of relationship it is. It's a beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing.

[N!LoC]

Wow I think u just touched on something that even I didn't really realize ... But in all honesty .. Sometimes suppressing ones self is the only way I know how in dealing with such feelings... Thank u for reading jeo :-)

[Frieda P]

Well said this, I think we can all relate...not sure if there is a difference in 'boi' and 'boy' but it still translates well...Kudos.

[N!LoC]

It's great when ppl find your poems relatable :-) thanks Frieda!

[Frieda P]

Yes it is...my pleasure ;-)

[Baby Ricochet]

This poem seems to be written from a receptive view point. When I think of gays in terms of their sexual relationships with their partners I think of them as being more on the same page than men and women are. I've never thought in terms of a gay receptive lover in the same sense as a woman is receptive to a mans advances. I've always been the aggressor in the dynamic so that's been my experience. To me gay sexuality and heterosexuality are wired the same way with the only difference being the object of desire. Both respond to youth and beauty the same way, both have roving eyes and are naturally promiscuous and both want it all the time. So as sexual creatures you, N!LoC and I, Baby Ricochet, are no different. We're both horny dudes we just lust for different flavors. That's one of the reasons Homophobia is so Goddamn stupid. People don't think this s**t through. Great poem. It gave me something to think about. Thanks bro.

[N!LoC]

oh my... that's a whole mini Theseus right there! lol :-)

[DJuan Thomas]

Astute observation, Baby Ricochet. I think you're probably right, or pretty close to right. Human responses to relationships are pretty homogeneous, it's the pair-ups that are different.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanks man

[DJuan Thomas]

I really enjoy the way you explore suppression as a theme here. The idea of holding back what and who we are for the feeling of belonging to someone else is very powerful and all too human. I also enjoy the rhythm you establish. I wonder: is there a difference between "boy" and "boi?" I imagine "boi" to be a sort of euphemism for "manchild."

[N!LoC]

ok .. here's an insider secret for you... the "boi" i refer to here is indeed a man... but for some reason ... when i wrote this poem ... i felt that he was just a just a "boy"... thanks dj... your inquisitive mind intrigues me :-)

[DJuan Thomas]

You are most welcomed, amigo. I felt like there had to be some sort of distinction. I have fallen for a "boi" or two myself and there seems to always be this feeling of aloneness that they bring with them.

[DJuan Thomas]

By the way, I'm a Libra too.

[N!LoC]

r u gay too ? hihi

[DJuan Thomas]

Yeppers, gay too.

[N!LoC]

Oh ! Well what r the odds of that ! Hihi :-)

[DJuan Thomas]

Did you not find it interesting that your reviewer, Tasha, took you (a gay man) out of your poem and automatically put in a heterosexual paradigm in your place. I understand that everyone reads a poem slightly differently but to not see that you, a man, wrote this poem about a "boi," another man, is so odd to me. Maybe you didn't even notice but I thought it odd.

[DJuan Thomas]

I figured that when you asked the question, you had assumed I was. Did you not?

[N!LoC]

Actually yeah I kinda knew u were after u commented on my review of ur poem "prayer"... And I did notice Tasha put this poem through a hetrosexual perspective... Knowing that I am a guy ! ( or maybe she thought I was a girl ??? Lol)

[DJuan Thomas]

Oh yeah, that's right. Hee hee

[s y e]

This was well written. Such a good poem.

[N!LoC]

thanks noodlehead.. thats always nice to hear :-)

[s y e]

Welcome. Hehehe.

[KeeD]

I liked this a lot. Well written and presented. Good job bro :) Your poems make the reader want to fall in love.

[N!LoC]

ahhhh if i have that ability to make readers fall in love.. then by all means call me cupid boy ! hehehe... although i'd rather be the mighty aphrodite!

[Lexi I.]

One of the first poems I feel comfortable reviewing (as I won't have to give bad feedback)!
This lumped up all of the emotions one feels in a relationship with a person, who acts like he/she might be better than the other. It's reminiscent of those times when you have to "act" like someone else for the attention of another person and when you're afraid to be who you are because it might not be good enough.

I think in just a few lines, you also show the maturation of the narrator--he/she realizes that it wasn't worthwhile waiting for something that would never happen.

Thanks for sharing!

[N!LoC]

omg..thats one hell of a review :-) i just have to say some of my best writing comes from a place of sadness... but i try to keep my writing with a hopefull spirit..

[KAOlmsted]

"boi" is not open to interpretation, it is exactly as it is meant to be ;-)

I like the frankness of this piece. You've captured those insecurities nearly every one of us feels when the object of our desire seems just out of reach. Well done, this.

-kimmer

[N!LoC]

Haha just when I think that maybe I'm being vague enough in my poem ... I find out that it actually is kinda frank and direct... Haha thanks for the info

[KAOlmsted]

My pleasure ;-)

[Tasha]

This is different but I like it.

I love the quotes at the beginning and end. I think they mean that she was with someone and he wasn't all he was cracked up to be...its like he acts and kisses like a boy yet she's looking for a man. I love the way you write, it is short but truly impactful. Keep it up, I'll be sure to keep reading.
~Tasha

[N!LoC]

oh wow... thanks so much tasha.. that really means alot to me :-) the opening and closing quotes were inspired from a "faith hill" song by the same name... and i got inspired from there... and yes... your interpretation to this poem is very intersting and similar to what i was feeling when i wrote it

[Tasha]

Wow, you're very welcome. I can't believe I was even close to your interpretation. :)