Chapter One

The door bell rang. I rubbed my eyes and rolled off the bed. My body landed with a loud thud on the floor. Pain wasn't new to me at this point.

"Are you okay in there?" Cam asked, concern wrapped his voice.

I groaned, propped myself up with my hand on the bed, and opened my apartment door. 

He looked at me like I just came back from the dead. Worry was etched into his wide eyes. "You've been absent for days," Cam pointed out.

"I know, I know" My hand instinctively held the back of my head, grasping the little bits of my hair.

"Your students have been looking for you" Cam entered my apartment. He examined the entirety of it and his face recoiled at the stench. My place was a mess. The papers were left strewn on the coffee table in front of the sofa, unchecked beside my spoiled food from days before. Flies were already feasting on it. I heard Cam mutter something under his breath. Liquid was spilled on the rug most likely coffee or beer, perhaps both. I had left the filthy dishes untouched on the sink, the stove filled with grime. 

Cam walked towards the coffee table and held up my medicine bottle. He filled it every Sunday morning with my medicine for the week so he'd know if I was taking it but he was out last Sunday. 

"Have you been taking your meds?" He twisted the white cap and examined the contents. They were exactly the same as the one he put the other week. He looked at me, disappointed. He exhaled and said, "Do you want to play tonight? We've got a gig and Dave isn't gonna be there." 

He exhaled again. "Just...just get dressed Matt, okay? I'll take care of this." He took out a plastic bag from one of my cabinets and threw the food. He started cleaning my apartment, scrubbing the floor, etc.

------

We drove over to Bam's using his top down and parked at the parking lot adjacent to the building. It was an old desolate building that was reconstructed to make sure it doesn't break while the crowd is jumping up and down. Bam's was the go-to bar in Holiday. There were days when they have DJs and days where bands get to play. Thursday was band day. 

We entered through the back entrance that leads to the backstage. A small number of groupies were waiting outside for a chance to see their favorite band. 

"OH MY GOD! It's Cam Rodriguez!" someone shrieked and surge of noise followed. Cam waved at them which created more shrieking as we entered the premises. 

"What can I say?" Cam held up his hands. "Being the vocalist has its perks," he chuckled.

I smiled and fixed my backpack bass. We entered their band's room where all of the other members were waiting. There was only one more band left before it was their-our turn to play. 

"Hey, Matt!"

"Hi!"

"'Sup, man. Long time no see"

They all greeted me with matching handshakes the same way we did back during our college years when we lived in the same house near the campus. 

"What took you so long, Cam? Nan-chicks ka pa siguro 'noh?" Jev teased. (You were hitting on women, werent you?) 

Cam eyed him and placed his hand behind on my shoulder. Jev nodded. They knew.

-----

It was seven when our turn came. It was early but Bam's catered to a small community and he made sure that everyone could have fun at the same time including people from the high school. Bands would start playing as soon as the sun was gone. 

The lights were out while we were sound checking. The twins, Jev and Kev were on guitars with Jev on lead and Kev as rhythm. Chris was the drummer. I was the usual substitute bassist. I knew all the songs by heart including this new one they were going to debut tonight.

Cam started doing the introductions with spotlight on him. I was doing some scales, inhaling, exhaling. 

"Tonight we're going to be playing a new song, with of course, our session bassist, Matthew Davis. This is called Surprise! Surprise! I hope y'all could relate to this."

Chris counted, "One, two, three"  and all of us started at the same time. Jev was doing the solo intro with all of us backing him up. I focused on my riffs. I held my eyes on the frets and as soon as I lost myself in the music, I let go of everything. I was moving, headbanging, and walking the stage with the twins, messing around with Cam. 

I was having fun. I giggled. I felt so alive. I looked up at the three floors of audience and looked back down at the exact moment the door swung open. I forgot the next line. I quickly improvised.

"Surprise! Surprise!

She's here in the bar

Sitting at the back

Waiting for prince charming"

Was the song for me? Why was she here? Cam faced me and in his eyes were the answer.

------

The set ended. All of us were so sweaty, you could have mistaken us for freshly bathed boys. Cam followed my pace. 

"Let me get that for you." He took my bass from my hand. He was stronger than me. "Go" 

I took a different route from the band, they went back to their room as I headed for the bar table where she was lounging. I pull aside the curtain and entered the drinking area with the chairs and tables. Near the stage, the crowd was still going wild for the next band. They were jumping up and down and singing to their tunes.

"Isn't that the bassist?" 

A mass of people gathered around me with cameras, flashes, and lots of chatter. I was getting dizzy. My palms sweated and my knees shook. Luckily, a bouncer came and ushered them away. I thanked him and headed for her. I sat beside her on the tall red stool. She was playing with her can of coke, circling it with her hand. I placed my hands on the table, interlaced. I could feel my breath quickening the pace.

"Are you alright?" she asked without looking at me. 

I nodded and then I remembered, "Yes, of course. I'm fine" I had to project that I was fine that there is nothing wrong with me.

I heard her chair turn. A dab of tissue contacted with my forehead. Reflex made me inch away. There is nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me. I repeat. There is nothing wrong with me.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing." I exhaled, a wrong choice of move. 

I heard her take in a chunk of air. "Look, about the other night... or the other other other night or something like that"

My fingers were purposely fidgeting by themselves. They were sweating. I could feel my feet wanting to fidget, every muscle in my body wanted to move. "What about it?" I replied calmly. Confidence. Confidence. Confidence. 

"You don't remember?" she sounded irritated. She muttered something beyond earshot and took a gulp of her drink. She clenched it in her hands and managed to leave marks on it. 

"No." I exhaled again. Suddenly, it feels like the room is stuffy and I can't breathe. I asked for a glass of iced tea to calm my nerves and for the first time, I decided to glance at her. She was staring at me like I was an endangered specie.

"What?" 

"You ordered. Iced Tea"

I shrugged. "Yeah. Band members get free drinks and I want some iced tea. Is something wrong?"

"You don't drink?" 

"No"

"Are you sure? Cause you were drunk as hell the other night." 

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, and you told me that you loved me" 

I stared at her. Brows furrowed. "That's impossible" 

She rolled her eyes.

That's definitely. Impossible.