How to Effectively Ruin Your Self-Esteem

Expository Essay for English 3

When effectively ruining your self esteem, it is most important to first recognize what self esteem consists of in its essence. At its purest form, self esteem is not that misunderstood concept that relates so closely to arrogance. In fact, it is merely a self respect, a love of one’s self, if you will. Self esteem is that urge that inspires you to keep your tired eyes open in the morning; it is that sense of hope that surrounds you in the form of well being. While it may seem that this sense of value in you is a concept that is reassured and doubly strong, it can truly and easily be depleted in only a matter of weeks, perhaps even days if you allow your self dissolvement to become a top priority which, you will find, it normally does.
While there are numerous ways to go about the destruction of your self esteem, all of which are, in most situations, astoundingly effective, there are those methods which become more prevalent in society and seem to be the easiest. First, you must go about the idea of your appearance. This, of course, tends to be simpler in those unfortunate who, as children, never heard the words “beautiful”, “precious”, nor “stunning”, as did their older and more fortunate peers and siblings. You might be surprised, though, at the number of those astoundingly magnificent and god blessed individuals who are quick to admit and even point out their hideous features. 
When destroying your self image, it is first important to come to one simple fact: you are not pretty, you never were pretty, and no one will ever think of you as pretty, no matter how hard you may try. It helps to repeat this mantra as though a curse under firelight while gazing into one’s appearance in a mirror, preferably one that is large enough to show the extent of your overall ugliness. Remove the make-up you put on in an attempt to hide your dreadfulness, starting from your eyes and moving down the face. Without shadow and liner, realize how obtusely normal and dull your eyes appear, never glowing and hardly accenting any feature of your face. See how their emptiness reflects the lack of beauty in you. Wipe away the cover-up and count every bulging red spot, every slight discolor in the pigment of your skin, every blotch, every mole, every freckle. These do not make you unique. They make you ugly. Remove the rogue from your cheeks and lips, making sure to rub as hard as you can to recognize that that face is yours, and its permanence is withstanding. Repeat the mantra. Next remove every article of clothing and study yourself in depth. Count the blotches on your skin, the folds of your fat, the fake lines of your tan, and the gruesome hairs on your body. Keep staring as though your body were a car crash, revolting and saddening in appearance, but drawing in its dreadfulness. Repeat the mantra. If it helps, you may wish to put a full length mirror in your shower or bathroom in an attempt to constantly remind yourself that you are not, as your mother had told you, a beautiful rose. You are not, as your teacher said, a shining star. You are revolting. Repeat the mantra. Do this at least two or three times a day until every shred of loveliness you thought you detained is obliterated, or at least until every compliment on physical appearance you receive feels like a lie in an almost paranoid sense. You are not pretty, you never were pretty, and no one will ever think of you as pretty, no matter how hard you may try.
Next, you must lose all sense of intellectual well being and understanding. One of the most helpful advancements you can make in this field is a direct result of being around people who are smarter than you (in reference to appearance, being around those who are prettier is also in effective method). Listen to them speak of those things you can never possibly comprehend. Do not try to realize what is going on, for if you succeed, this will thoroughly demote your progression in lowering your self esteem. Stay quiet in class, especially if you know an answer or want to make a comment. Unless this answer or comment is as dumb as you, you main gain respect from others which will doubtlessly lead in gaining respect for yourself. Whenever possible, make an attempt to ask a brainless or, at the very least, dim-witted question. If you are lucky, some will not be able to stifle their laughs in your humiliation and you may be able to take a moment to absorb their ridicule and bathe in their mockery. Once you feel as though walking into a classroom is as painful as a route canal on a rainy Monday, chances are, you will not be able to recover.
Once you lose all self value dealing with your body and mind, you will find that most other things will fall into place. In no time, you will constantly remain in a position in which your eyes are focused narrowly on an imaginary spot between your feet and any walk down a hallway or street will seem only an opportunity for others to gawk at your gruesomeness. Keep in mind, destroying your self esteem is a dangerous process that is not for everyone. Ninety-eight percent of the time, it results in a deep self hatred followed by a bottomless, downward spiraling depression. Almost never will the destruction of self esteem be a reversible process; if done correctly, you will detest your foulness forever.