the heart of darkness

 Look up at the heart of darkness

trickle down your vein

I remain quiet like a lark miss

I want to play a game

my heart is hidden in the deep abyss

for my lover has gone to shame

his faults have even made a list

his personality untame

 

 

Look down at the sight of lightness

trickles down the rain

I yell and scream like a bark miss

I want to play a game

my sight is found in the shallow hiss

of the snake who’s venom is to blame

his fault can even bring him bliss

his victims fall down lame

 

 

Look towards the soul of grayness

trickles down the pain

I bang my silent voice inside my mind miss

I want to play a game

my soul is lost and found in my fists

clutching my throat when his feet came

to meet me with his bleeding wrists

his slumped over body falls down and maims,

into the concreate floor of ocean blue

his faint couldn’t wait he claims

for the puzzle pieces to become unglue

and now only his voice remains

 

Author's Note

think of it as what happens to adam and eve after listening to the snake and eating the apple

Reviews

[Chaos Stone]

this reads like lyrics, i dig it, which is i assume why you use the different fonts, for emphasis
but it does get hard to read, one can lose their place or the pace of the verse

is UNGLUE a typo? because it would still rhyme with blue if it read unglued, at least in a lyrical sense
also i dont get the MISS part
really my only critique, great use of metaphor
the first part evokes imagery of heroin usage 'heart of darkness trickle down the vein, playing that game, snakes venom to blame'
and the last verse conjures suicidal guilt
>.> if it sounds like i know what im talking about lol

[Rhan F. Sydney]

Very powerful, some small typing errors but the effect was not lost. I am very pleased with this poem. Thank you or the entry.

[z]

I loved this, you are an amazing writer =]
I love the repetition of the line "I want to play a game"
it gives it a certain tone that i love
i hope i'm making sense =p

[No]

Awesomeeeee =]
but i think it would be easier to read iif it was all one font