Part Three: Chaos [Chat Doc Online]

[Users (Blue_Jay_003), (fly_eagle_fly), (Evil_Mastermind), (That_One_Guy) online]

Blue_Jay_003: HELLO EVERYONE!!! Is anyone else here?

fly_eagle_fly: Hi Jay.

That_One_Guy: Hello both of you.

Evil_Mastermind: Hello.

Blue_Jay_003: Dunno. How ya doin’ Darknight?

Evil_Mastermind: Fine. Well, better anyway. It’s still healing.

fly_eagle_fly: That’ll make a scar for sure.

Evil_Mastermind: No kidding. *grunts* What are the Dirthawkers up to now?

Blue_Jay_003: No clue. Ask Peri.

Evil_Mastermind: Peri? You here?]

[Dirthawkers_group online]

derpyhawker_378: We got moved... *yawn* To the Philippines. It’s probably 2 in the morning here. 

That_One_Guy: Oh. Sorry to wake you then. Anyway, do you have a plan to beat S.W.O.R.D. by cunning?

derpyhawker_378: Maybe, but I don’t remember it at this hour. *YAWNNNNN*

Blue_Jay_003: Where’s Max and Spar? They on? Or Wilson? (I wouldn’t be opposed to Wilson, either.

Evil_Mastermind: I’m still confused about how he spoke to all of us those times and we heard English… when he’d said that English is the only language he can’t speak.

That_One_Guy: I’ve been thinking, maybe there was a sort of power-induced phenomena that allowed Wilson to be heard in whatever language people could understand… Sorry. I sound like a nerd, don’t I?

Blue_Jay_003: Well, I’m a nerd too, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Peri? Still there?

fugitive12: I doubt it. 

derpyhawker_378: Awww, Jarkling for the win. 

Blue_Jay_003: Shut up, Peri.

fly_eagle_fly: Wait, where’s Max?

fugitive12: SOMEONE woke me up with their ultra-loud yawning!

derpyhawker_378: Hey, my adopted dad did it too. Do you blame me?

Evil_Mastermind: Who now?

derpyhawker_378: Ummm, my adopted dad. He made songs with his yawns that were much better than the ones I do.

fugitive12: She’s so tired she did one to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star that eventually faded out.

Evil_Mastermind: Oh. Anyway, plan? Also, where’s Spar?

fugitive12: He’s out. Fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. The flight here was pretty bumpy. Why do you ask? I thought you'd be happy he's not here to bother you. 

Blue_Jay_003: What’re we waiting for? Wake up, Spar!

Evil_Mastermind: Oh, let him sleep. Max’s right. We don’t need the annoyment.

derpyhawker_378: It’s 2 in the morning here! Did you not see my first comment?

fly_eagle_fly: I have a plan. Bash ‘em. With cunning.

Evil_Mastermind: That’s not how cunning works, Dove.

Blue_Jay_003: Yeah. You beat them with it. Not bash. But you could do with some, though. Have you seen yourself in the obstacle course?

fly_eagle_fly: That was midnight! I was tired!

Blue_Jay_003: No excuses. You need cunning. CUNNING 101 STARTS NOW!!! 

derpyhawker_378: uuunghh,;o0p879wyot3agyu LIO*F$GUKB

[system error]

[User (derpyhawker_378) offline]

[User (fugitive_12) offline]

Evil_Mastermind: What was that? Did you fall asleep?

Blue_Jay_003: Yep. On the keyboard, if I’m not mistaken.

That_One_Guy: We’ll continue when they wake up.

[Hours later]

Blue_Jay_003: They should be awake by now.

Evil_Mastermind: Yep. They’ve slept for long enough.

bttrflytrvlr012: Salut les méchants.

Blue_jay_003: Wha?? Who is this and what language are you speaking?

Evil_Mastermind: Jay, you can just track him. Or her. Whoever.

bttrflytrvlr012: Kore wa hebi toridesu.

[Tracking]

[Error 376]

Blue_Jay_003: I can’t. It system errored. Wait, is this Wilson? If yes, type in English, please!

bttrflytrvlr012: Kore wa hebi toridesu!

Blue_Jay_003L Are you incapable of typing in English? What language is this? Japanese?

Evil_Mastermind: I think so. Hold on, I’ll translate it.

bttrflytrvlr012: Lays baed alan.

Evil_Mastermind: It won’t translate. Why can’t you speak English??

bttrflytrvlr012: Zhège hěn y�'uqù! W�' xǐhuan gǎibiàn y�"yán!

Blue_Jay_003: Ya know what, since we can’t understand him, I’m gonna assume that he’s on the other side of things and just boot him.

[Firewall Placed]

[Unknown User (bttrflytrvlr012) booted]

Blue_Jay_003: There. He’s gone.

That_One_guy: Good for him. Let’s get down to things.

bttrflytrvlr012:Potest non calcitrare a me.

That_One_Guy: Jay, bad news, you can’t boot this guy.

Blue_Jay_003: Darn. Is it Wilson?

Evil_Mastermind: I don’t know. Maybe

bttrflytrvlr012: Serio?

Blue_Jay_003: Yes, seriously. You won’t tell us who you are, and I can’t track you to find out! We have to assume!

bttrflytrvlr012: Kkai dropeqxra ugatroxra!

Blue_Jay_003: It’s Wilson. That’s his native language, I’ve heard it before.

That_One_Guy: I don’t think we should try to translate.

[Insert Detected]

From: Dove

Subject: um. . . GUYS?

Message:

I’ve been stolen… COME AND RESCUE ME THESE GUYS HAVE TORTURE WEAPONS AND IT’S SO FREAKING HOT IN HERE!!! HELP!!! IT’S VOLCRONA’S FREAKING SON, HE KIDNAPPED ME WITH FIRE MINIONS AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH BURNING BURNING AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Evil_Mastermind: Volcrona’s son?! Are you ****ing kidding me?!

Blue_Jay_003: Calm down, Darknight. He’ll be fine. We’ll rescue him. First, Wilson? Still there?

bttrflytrvlr012: Wilson est hic.

[Insert Detected]

Auxilium. Ego profunditatem in monte. Scis ubi est, ibi fui. Columba est in me. Scis quis ego sum.

bttrflytrvlr012: Bene, alius in tribulatione nimis.

Evil_Mastermind: Avi… He’s with Dove, in the volcano. With Volcrona’s runt Magma. He is going to die.

Blue_Jay_003: Let’s go. As much as I hate confined spaces, I’m not letting Dove and Avi die.

That_One_Guy: What was the Dirthawkers’ battle cry again?

Blue_Jay_003: Alhale… something… Wilson? What was it again?

derpyhawker_378: Alayah una!

fugitive12: Alayah ene!

[Users (derpyhawker_378, fugitive_12) offline]