Part Three: Chaos [Chat Doc Online]

[chat room open]

Blue_Jay_003: THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!

fly_eagle_fly: I am forced to agree.

Evil_Mastermind: OW. That was not fun for me…

That_One_Guy: That’d be because you almost broke your arm…

Blue_Jay_003: That would hurt. Anyway… what now?

Evil_Mastermind: Now I’m bored.

That_One_Guy: Should we torture Sayyaf some more?

fly_eagle_fly: Nah, that’s boring.

Blue_Jay_003: Peri? Any ideas? Peri? Dangit. I think she’s off the doc.

Evil_Mastermind: Well duh. I saw that as soon as I got on.

Blue_Jay_003: I should’ve seen it too… but who cares?? I don’t!

Evil_Mastermind: It sounds like you do.

That_One_Guy: Well, I’m gonna play Minecraft for a while. Bye.

[That_One_Guy has left the server]

Evil_Mastermind: Aw, he’s no fun. I’m gonna torture Sayyaf.

Blue_Jay_003: No, it’s gotta be someone else now. Wait…

[hacking detected]

flappy_byrd: Tortue who now?

Blue_Jay_003: ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? STOP HACKING MY DOC PPL!!!!

Evil_Mastermind: Calm down, Jay.

flappy_byrd: But your firewalls are pathetic…

Blue_Jay_003: Say that again. I dare you. *growls* Also, who are you???

[User (archer_3) has entered server]

archer_3: Your firewalls are pathetic.

Blue_Jay_003: TWO OF YOU???? Great. Just wonderful. Who are you?

flappy_byrd: Were we supposed to invite our friends? I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I’ll invite them right now, in fact…

Blue_Jay_003: ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Also, again, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?????????

archer_3: Myself, last time I checked.

flappy_byrd: Same.

Evil_Mastermind: She means what are your names.

flappy_byrd: Well, what are yours?

Evil_Mastermind: I’m Darknight, she’s Jay.

That_One_Guy: And I’m Darkling.

fly_eagle_fly: DOVE IS IN DA HOUSE!!!!!

flappy_byrd: WHY IS YOUR FONT SO UGLY?? Does that mean that you are ugly too?

That_One_Guy: Which font?? I have been teased about my font so many times...

archer_3: She means Dove. No, Darkling, your font looks like an old man’s handwriting, but who am I to judge how an old man writes?

Blue_Jay_003: It’s better than his first one. *laughs* His first one looked like a girl wrote it.

flappy_byrd: Why hasn’t Dove answered my question?

That_One_Guy: Hey!! That’s not nice, Jay.

fly_eagle_fly: UM I don’t know you guys… Can you at least tell us your names now? Or what you’re known by anyway… and where the heck you came from??

flappy_byrd: Can you tell me whether you are ugly or handsome?

fly_eagle_fly: I’d say handsome, but I’ve got a scar across my entire face so it depends on what you find handsome.

Blue_Jay_003: Valid answer. Now tell us your names!! And who you work for!! BTW we’re from the S.O.S. (Society of Supervillains) and the I.I.E.M. (International Institution of Evil Masterminds).

flappy_byrd: *to Dove* Oooh, scar! My name is Byrd, my friends name is Q.

archer_3: MY NAME IS NOT Q!!!!!!!! I will shoot an arrow through the heart of anyone who calls me that, because my name is Quiver.

fly_eagle_fly: Who do you work for then?

archer_3: Myself.

flappy_byrd: Saaaame.

Blue_Jay_003: Okay… are you part of a hero/villain company? Do you own a villain/hero company? Are you loners? What is your job?

flappy_byrd: I’m too rich to work…

archer_3: I’m... I’m... um... uh...

Evil_Mastermind: WAIT. I’ve heard of Byrd and Quiver before… don’t you work with Seraphimbia or something?

archer_3: Occasionally.

flappy_byrd: Sometimes.

Blue_Jay_003: *hacks* Yes, Byrd knows the leaders, and since Quiver is Byrd’s friend…

flappy_byrd: I’m not friends with her. Do you know what she’s like??

Evil_Mastermind: No… would you enlighten us?

fly_eagle_fly: Hey, where’s the Dirthawkers? Peri? Anyone? HELLO?

EVil_Mastermind: Calm down, Dove. Are the Dirthawkers listening??

derpyhawker378: Oh, what were we talking about? Sorry, I zoned out. There was a pure white gyrfalcon out my window. Why he was there, I don’t know...

Blue_Jay_003: Byrd and Quiver from Seraphimbia just hacked my doc. WHY DOES THAT KEEP HAPPENING?????

archer_3: Because your firewall sucks.

derpyhawker378: Oh hi Byrd and Quiver. Welcome to the supposed-to-be-unhackable-but-actually-is-hackable-by-anyone doc.

fugitive12: The population of hackers here is 6.

prankmaster: No, it’s 8. Don’t forget Hawk Guy and Fartitudo.

fugitive12: Oh RIIIGHT. But they haven’t been on in a while…

prankmaster: And that’s a good thing, right?

derpyhawker378: Yeah. Wilson, just wondering, how do you type with your paws?

Ego sustulit eum in Japan.

derpyhawker378: Niiice.

Blue_Jay_003: I hate hackers… except me. I’m a really good hacker. But I really need to--

[User (dangerous_guy) has entered server]

Blue_Jay_003: ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????

flappy_byrd: I told you that I would invite my friends...

Blue_Jay_003: Still. This sucks. I might just close down this doc.

archer_3: I’d just get it back up and running...

dangerous_guy: Hey, birthday girl.

archer_3: YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE!!!!!!!

Blue_Jay_003: Who the heck are you?????

archer_3: My annoying boyfriend.

dangerous_guy: Oh, come on. I even bought you a birthday present!!

archer_3: But I don’t like my birthday!!

Blue_Jay_003: What is this annoying boyfriend’s name?

archer_3: Annoying boyfriend.

derpyhawker378: I know someone like that…

fugitive12: Hey!

Blue_Jay_003: I’m serious, what’s his name??

dangerous_guy: But I’m annoying and lovable, right?

archer_3: *sigh* Yes, you are very lovable and annoying.

[User (tiger_owl) has entered the server]

tiger_owl: Hello!!

Evil_Mastermind: Can we worry less about this and more about THAT THING THAT IS DESTROYING THE CITY??? I mean, I didn’t send anyone out to destroy stuff, and I kinda LIVE IN THE CITY.

derpyhawker378: MY DAD LIVES IN THE CITY, EVERYBODY!!!

tiger_owl: You do?

That_One_Guy: What, did you think we lived in a dark cavern underground or something? Our base is close to the city, and we do have an actual house you know.

derpyhawker378: Oh wow. MY DAD ACTUALLY LIVES IN A HOUSE EVERYBODY!!!

tiger_owl: ...

flappy_byrd: Let’s go find him!!

Blue_Jay_003: *grins evilly* You do? Wonderfulness! I can prank your house!

That_One_Guy: Wait, if you’re all Seraphimbia peeps then you are heroes half the time and villains half the time or something???

flappy_byrd: No, we get to choose to go on more villainous missions or more heroic missions. It’s pretty flexible.

fly_eagle_fly: I don’t understand Seraphimbia. But it sounds cool.

fugitive12: #Jekyll and Hyde organization.

flappy_byrd: That’s inaccurate.

Evil_Mastermind: You are not joining Seraphimbia.

fly_eagle_fly: Aw…… Also wait what? I don’t read books…

Blue_Jay_003: WHAT???? YOU ARE TRULY EVIL!!!!

fugitive12: Says who?

archer_3: EVERYBODY.

fugitive12: Dove is truly evil? Don’t know about that...

tiger_owl: Even griffins read books.

flappy_byrd: How do you turn the pages with your paws?

Ego sustulit eum in Japan.

derpyhawker378: You must have learned a lot of stuff in Japan.

Feci. Japonia cīvitās et multae sedulitatis est. Etiam abhinc annis centum duobus ...

tiger_owl: We torture humans until they do it for us.

dangerous_guy: What if they get blood on the pages?

Griffinus mea fecerim amicis.

tiger_owl: We torture them more.

dangerous_guy: Cool!!

derpyhawker378: They weren’t necessarily your friends though, right Wilson?

Quod verum est.

flappy_byrd: Didn’t you have a b-day present for Q?

archer_3: DON’T CALL ME Q!!!!!

tiger_owl: Why is the archer so angry?

Blue_Jay_003: Haha. You’re all hilarious.

Evil_Mastermind: Why is everyone so sarcastic?

dangerous_guy: Oh yeah! Q, where are you?

archer_3: NOT telling.

dangerous_guy: Aww...

tiger_owl: Is anyone doing anything fun?

tiger_owl: *drops pin*

tiger_owl: Yep, quiet enough to hear a pin drop.

tiger_owl: HELLO

tiger_owl: -LO

tiger_owl: -LO

tiger_owl: -LO

tiger_owl: -LO

tiger_owl: -LO

tiger_owl: -LO

tiger_owl: -LO

tiger_owl: -LO

archer_3: Wow, those are really long echoes.

tiger_owl: -LO

tiger_owl: -LO

tiger_owl: -LO

tiger_owl: -LO

tiger_owl: -LO

archer_3: STOP MAKING ECHOES OF YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, Kylara.

archer_3: WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT SECRET IDENTITIES!??????????!!!!!!!!

*kekking*

owl_tiger: sorry

dangerous_guy: Wha-wha-wha happened??!!! I totally did not just wake up!!

prankmaster: Are you overly depressed by sleeping? Then get the Fartitudo approved mind sweeping device! (Memory returner not included)

derpyhawker378: Shut up, Spar.

Blue_Jay_003: YES! I can find out everything about you! AND SPAR SHUT UP. OR ELSE.

prankmaster: Are you overly annoyed by heroes with kestrel powers? Then get the Fartitudo approved mind sweeping device! (Memory returner not included)

flappy_byrd: XD

fugitive12: Spar, I’m warning you...

tiger_owl: Haha!! And you don’t know her last name, so...

prankmaster: Are you overly annoyed by heroes with kestrel powers? Then get the Fartitudo approved mind sweeping device! (Memory returner not included)

Gravissime vir.

prankmaster: Copy-paste got nothin on me.

dangerous_guy: O.O PLEASE DON’T WIPE MY MEMORY!!!!!!!!!! I’M BEGGGGGGGGING YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

derpyhawker378: Bro. It’s a joke. Or maybe you already knew that… *mischevious grin*

dangerous_guy: *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm* *sarcasm*

flappy_byrd: Spar’s a guy?

prankmaster: What did you think I was? A falcon?

flappy_byrd: Umm… I thought you were female…

derpyhawker378: *Kekking* HOLEY FM SPAR THIS IS A FIRST!!!

prankmaster: I can’t help but laugh too. *killying in background* This is great.

archer_3: *sounds of a door breaking down*

prankmaster: Change of plans. This is not great.

derpyhawker378: Yeah, what’s going on over there?

archer_3: WHAT THE HELL??? PITCH, YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH!!!!!!

dangerous_guy: Ow, I think you broke my arm....

prankmaster: More change of plans. This IS great!

archer_3: WHAT THE **** WERE YOU THINKING???

fugitive12: And to scare the FM out of everybody...

dangerous_guy: I was going to bring you your birthday present…

derpyhawker378: And break down a door?

dangerous_guy: The door was closed and locked...

archer_3: You couldn’t’ve just knocked??

fugitive12: Sounds like something you would do, Peri.

derpyhawker378: No door would dare get in my way!

dangerous_guy: Do you still want your present?

archer_3: Oh, whatever, sure.

archer_3: *opens box with lots of holes poked into it*

archer_3: *silence*

archer_3: You got me two piles of hair?

fugitive12: What a lovely birthday present.

dangerous_guy: NOO!! *picks up piles of hair*

Blue_Jay_003: Are the piles of hair alive?

dangerous_guy: *piles of hair start meowing*

Blue_Jay_003: Oh, you got her possessed piles of hair.

dangerous_guy: THEY’RE KITTENS!!! Is everybody stupid? *slapping sound* OWW!

archer_3: That’s what you get, jerk.

dangerous_guy: RUDE RUDE RUDE

Blue_Jay_003: CAN I HAVE THEM IF SHE DOESN’T WANT THEM?????

That_One_Guy: Wow, Jay. You must really like kittens.

derpyhawker378? Great amount of deductive reasoning people.

tiger_owl: I like kittens. I can be a kitten if you like...

Blue_Jay_003: I LOVE KITTENS!!!! I WANT THEM!!!!

Evil_Mastermind: NO. I have cat hair allergies.

derpyhawker378: The cat hair would make your attire much more entertaining, Dad.

That_One_Guy: THAT IS A LIE, DARKNIGHT. You just hate cats.

Evil_Mastermind: I do not hate cats. I just don’t care for them.

That_One_Guy: SAME THING.

derpyhawker378: I think you would like cats, dad.

Blue_Jay_003: DARKNIGHT. YOU ARE THE DEATH OF ALL GOOD THINGS.

dangerous_guy: No, I’ve killed a few.

archer_3: Me too.

Evil_Mastermind: Cats are furry, claw-y, CRAZY beasts!!!

Blue_Jay_003: It sounds like Darknight is scared of cats =D

derpyhawker378: *in cute voice* Aw, the scawwy Dawknight is scawed of cute leetle kitty claws.

Evil_Mastermind: NO I AM NOT SCARED OF CATS!!!!! SHUT UP, YOU *****!!!!!

fugitive12: Don’t you dare call your daughter that!

Evil_Mastermind: Or what, you’ll cry on me, Saukerl?

fugitive12: No, I’ll personally come over and pop all the stitches out of your face scar. And maybe give you some kittens while I’m at it…

derpyhawker378: I’ll come over and give you a mauling if you call 12 that again. And don’t forget I single-handedly broke Fartitudo’s arms while he was throttling me.

tiger_owl: Didn’t you use both hands?

Evil_Mastermind: You are truly evil. But Peri is still insane. Plus I’m not scared of you.

derpyhawker378: You should be.

Blue_Jay_003: Plus I’ve become slightly over-protective of both dark bros. You do not want to find out what that means for you. I have no limits to my madness.

derpyhawker378: I already know. And you know I’m not scared of anything.

archer_3: We could definitely help you get rid of Darknight. I already don’t like him.

dangerous_guy: *glares at her*

archer_3: What?

dangerous_guy: Be quiet about the killing.

That_One_Guy: She is going crazy, you know. Last week she thought the french fries were taking over.

tiger_owl: All you have to do is eat them, and then they go away... for a bit, anyway.

Blue_Jay_003: I did not!! That’s mean.

That_One_Guy: What? It’s the truth.

derpyhawker378: I’m not crazy. I’m slightly... different.

fugitive12: I guess that’s a valid way to put it.

tiger_owl: Me too, @derpyhawker378!

Blue_Jay_003: Wait I never asked: Who are you?? Tiger Owl.

tiger_owl: You just now remembered that? You really are going crazy.

Blue_Jay_003: Shut up about that and answer the question.

tiger_owl: Like my name? Or my species? Or my gender? Or what?

Blue__Jay_003: ALL THREE. NAME, SPECIES, AND GENDER. GEEZ.

tiger_owl: Gena, Album tigris Niveis hinc ibis Gryphen, feminam

Blue_Jay_003: What? Is that Latin?

Duh.

tiger_owl: Etiam.

Evil_Mastermind: You’re… a griffin. I thought Wilson was the only one left...

tiger_owl: Wilson is the last Slated Seahawk Griffin. I’m the last... whatever I am…

Anglicus est super draconorum. Latine loqui debes.

fly_eagle_fly: If you try to kill Jay, she will freeze you to ice and shatter you. I’ve seen her do it. *shudders* Not something I’d want to experience.

dangerous_guy: Oooo, maybe we should have a battle sometime!!

That_One_Guy: Yeah, great idea. Great way to commit suicide. Even I wouldn’t try to fight her.

dangerous_guy: Um... what are her superpowers again?

derpyhawker378: Do you chicken nuggets not remember what Hawk Guy did to her? I challenge you, Jules.

Blue_Jay_003: Peri, I mostly fight to the death u know.

archer_3: You know he’d (Pitch) kill you, Jay, right?

derpyhawker378: Yeah, I know. So? I’m not afraid of anything, like I said before…

fugitive12: Yeah, not even death.

Blue_Jay_003: PFFT, yeah right. I CANNOT BE KILLED. Well, I’m not immortal or anything, but I’m pretty good at my job.

derpyhawker378: What if I short circuit your ‘better’ brain? Keep in mind that I’m the Eagle’s direct daughter, and I’ve beat Fartitudo more than once.

flappy_byrd: Then neither can we.

Blue_Jay_003: PERI, DON’T YOU DARE!

[User (#sitnc) has entered server]

#sitnc: I could erase her, if you guys like.

derpyhawker378: I was just challenging her to battle, and then a lot of trash talk ensued...

#sitnc: No, I mean that I could erase her from existence if you like... though you’d have to accept the consequences, like these docs not even happening in the first place, and a lot of us not meeting each other...

Blue_Jay_003: WHAT?? NO!! DON’T DO THAT THAT IS REALLY MEAN AND CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES!!! ARE YOU SOME SORTA TIME-TRAVELING FREAK??

#sitnc: “Time-traveling freak”? I would consider your words more wisely, Cagna.

Blue_Jay_003: Oh, shut up. AND DON’T CALL ME THAT.

Ego audivi ex papilio viatorum, et Ego unum numquam occurrit ...

#sitnc: Would you prefer Chienne? Pute? Garce?

fugitive12: Wilson’s right, we would understand you a lot better. That font is almost illegible.

Blue_Jay_003: IDK what any of those mean. So…… please no.

#sitnc: Then back off. Is this font better?

fugitive12: No. It’s worse.

Blue_Jay_003: I kinda like the first one better.

#sitnc: How about this one?

fugitive12: Much better.

#sitnc: Do any of you know what her deal is?

Blue_Jay_003: I HATE HACKERS IS WHAT.

derpyhawker378: She has a thing against people hacking into this doc. But it’s literally impossible not to...

#sitnc: I’m not even a hacker, I was just surfing the interwebs and found this site...

Blue_Jay_003: Wait, did anyone hear that? Oh… right… no audio. Anyway I thought I heard-- AGH! WHAT THE HECK? GET OUT OF MY ROOM, YOU CREEPY STALKER! GET THAT FIRE SWORD AWAY FROM ME!! HEY, PUT ME DOWN!!!!!!

[User( Blue_Jay_003) offline]

Derpyhawker378: Fire sword?

fugitive12: Who the FM has a fire sword? Anyone know?

Evil_Mastermind: WTFM MAGMA AND HIS GOONS HAVE FIRE SWORDS DUH.

That_One_Guy: That’s not good. BTW Magma is Volcrona’s son for those who don’t know.

dangerous_guy: Do you guys need help?

archer_3: We have nothing to do…

fly_eagle_fly: That’d be nice.

[User (Fly_Eagle_Fly) offline]

That_One_Guy: I’m gone.

[User( That_One_Guy) offline]

[User (owl_tiger) offline]

[User (Evil_Mastermind) offline]

[User (dangerous_guy) offline]

[User (flappy_byrd) offline]

[User (archer_3) offline]

[Dirthawkers_group have left the server]

[User (#sitnc) offline]

Author's Note

archer_3: Quiver, font is Baumans
dangerous_guy: Pitch, font is Coda
flappy_byrd: Byrd, font is El Messiri
tiger_owl: Gena, font is Voltaire
#sitnc (smart is the new cool, thank you e=mc^2): Crescent, nickname Cresce, font at first is Grand Hotel, then La Belle Aurore, before she settles on Sunshiney.